Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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I'm just a new man yes you made me live again.

The last entry was written earlier but posted light for various reasons. All I have to say about today is that Frank and I filmed for about 3 hours and it was INCREDIBLE. I can't believe how wonderful it was setting up shots and carrying them out. None were perfect due to equipment issues but it was the most fun I've had in like forever. If I could do that for a living...well it wouldn't even feel like working it would feel like a non-stop daydream. I have found something that suits me in the same way that writing does, that just feels so easy and natural that I can't believe that anybody would actually pay me to do that. Even shooting the same sequence over and over was amazing just because we would get closer and closer to getting it right. I would have shot 40 or 50 versions of each shot if it hadn't been for time and equipment constraints.

This is what passion feels like. This is what desire feels like. All I want to do is get back out there with a camera and some people to work with, although I'm not sure the latter is really necessary. It was just an outstanding experience and I'm still coming down off that high.

I am such an idiot for not trying this sooner. I almost went to film school when I was like 18 but I backed out because I was too shy and too depressed. If I had gone I'd be like 4 years ahead of where I am now! 4 years. As it is I am too old to really have a decent shot at it but damn the consequences man you've gotta go for the brass ring at least once in your life before you settle into being an accountant or potato peeler right? Maybe with some instruction I'll turn out to be moderately talented or something. Maybe I'll get extraordinarily lucky and won't have to be :-P

In some ways I feel like film might be a SLIGHT cop out because who wouldn't love being behind the camera and managing everything that goes into shooting a flick? Who wouldn't love to spend a whole month in front of a computer screen shaping a story and polishing it until it is something beautiful? Match cutting, punching in, all the little crafty things that come together to produce art.

This is a case where love ins't enough because it's something anybody could love.

I have to try though. I'm not sure I have another choice.
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