Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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Why Fox News is fun

I must admit to watching Fox News from time to time (you probably figured it out through my O'Reilly bashing), not just to spy on the enemy but also because it's a lot of fun to hear the ignorance and bias that passes for 'news.'

Today's quotes alone have just been awesome. "Financial markets here in the U.S. and in New York..." Before September 11 there was always the hidden belief here in NYC that the rest of America didn't want us as a part of it, and if it didn't need our financial centers and the cultural cache of Broadway and New York Fashion, it would kick us from the union. Apparently Fox has done so all on its lonesome. Good to know.

"A child should still have a father and a mother, and even if there's a divorce they still have a father and a mother." Right, and after my father died I still had...oh...wait...you're stupid. What about all the fathers that run off and vanish on their kids? Yes, I agree, the ideal for a child is a father and a mother, but this is the real world and sometimes that just isn't going to happen. Gay couples can raise children perfectly well, not all of them, of course, its not like gays are better parents than straights, but there are plenty of kids born to crack addicted teenage moms. According to the anti-gay alarmists it's better for a child to have one bad straight parent than two good gay ones. Brilliant.

"You've got men on the street with guns, and women on the corners you have to watch out for" (Said about the Olympics.) I can't tell whether they're talking about male and female soldiers/guards and just using poor grammar, or talking about male guards and female prostitutes. Are whores a terror threat, or a protection? Maybe they could distract the suicide bombers with their heaving bosoms and thus provide a second line of defense. "You Mohammed, we gotta get to the target."

"Yeah yeah, I'll be there Rijah, but check out the chest zeppelins on her. I tell you, I'm damn glad she's not wearing the chador I tell you what. I'm not sure whose bombs are more powerful here!"

"Missouri voters show no love for gay marriage, tonight on the O'Reilly factor, Bill's explosive interview with Dick Gephardt's gay daughter."

I'm not even sure how to begin deconstructing that. I guess we could start with the flippant way they treat the idea of gay marriage. We could follow-up with the absurd degrading way they treat Chrissy Gephardt. They describe her as Dick Gephardt's daughter, unecessarily (it would be a large coincedence if she belonged to a different Gephardt family) and don't even use her name (although they flash it on the screen.) More importantly, merely being gay does not automatically validate your opinion on gay issues. Gay people disagree on issues just like women disagree on issues or military people disagree on issues. They could just say "Chrissy Gephardt" but I guess that wouldn't be sufficiently informative to the ignorant or the bigoted.

Fox is STILL on the "Subway advertisement" witch hunt. I can't figure out why this is a story, it's about German advertisements. Subway is pointing out that the fast food lifestyle is part of the reason for American obesity. This is probably correct (mind you I'm not blaming the restaurants, but clearly American food choices are problematic) and there's no reason why Subway shouldn't use this in their advertising. Calling it Unamerican is just...AHHHHHHHH!!!

Fox is making snide comments about Scott Petersen because he ordered some hardcore porn after his wife went missing. They even went so far as to theorize that once he knew his wife was gone he felt free to do whatever he wanted. It didn't occur to them that PERHAPS he was in incredible pain and wanted distraction, or to relieve his stress through masturbation. If he'd smoked weed would they say it was because he was so stressed out over being a murderer? I'm not saying he's innocent, I haven't followed the case and I don't really care, but to imply that porn or drug use is something that only a murderer would turn to in times of pain is ludicrous. People who suffer traumas often want an escape. If your wife was murdered and you wanted to watch naked bimbos go at it to get your mind off it for 12 minute stretches a few times a day, who can blame you? Fox can!

It's amazing. There are people who watch this stuff all day long, in fact I know at least one of them, and I don't see how anyone could stand it for more than a few minutes at a time. Fox just goes for the most base instincts and worst tendancies of mankind. "Porn is bad, he watched porn, he must be bad." They don't even just give you the biased information and let you draw your own biased conclusions, they give you a map of how to think in an ignorant and bigoted way. Their anchors are attractive and not that bright, they fly the American flag like it's got a key attached and they're trying to discover lightning (high and constantly) and they spew poison out through the cathode ray tube.

It's entertaining though. Someone should invent a Fox bias drinking game. It'd have everyone wasted within 45 minutes.
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