Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Discretion is the better part of valor.

I abandoned the constitutional, on account of when I left the house I felt sleepy and I realized my body was telling me that what it needed to do was NOT to walk a few miles late at night on a day it had to get up earlyish for work, but rather to slump in front of a television for a little while and wind down towards sleep. This was an eminently reasonable request from my body, and I decided to just buy some oranges rather than go out for a few miles.

The thing is, while exercise is important and necessary as part of any weightloss regiment, I've been using it as a crutch to "earn" unhealthy foods. Eat a cookie, work it off. It's a functional system in the short term, but in the long term it's a losing proposition. For one thing you accrue exercise debts by eating early OR you exercise first and eat late. For another it's not long-term healthy. The key is not to work off the cookie, it's not to eat it on the first place, or to eat it rarely.

And I don't need the cookie to inspire the exercise, at least not anymore. I enjoy it for its own sake. So it's just a crutch. An unnecessary and harmful crutch. I was going to go out tonight and possibly risk getting my cold back for the hopes of a brownie later in the week. How dumb is that? It's not only not worth it but it's not worth it by a factor of 10 or more. So I decided to bag it and rest. That's the right decision for how I feel and what my body's been through recently. Weight loss is important but it's not the only measure of health. I have to remember that. I have this weird complicated relationship with food, and though I can temporarily subsume it in the discipline of a diet, eventually I'm going to have to focus on making smarter decisions without the crutches. Eating my way towards a balanced life through a balanced diet, if I wanted to boil it down to a simplistic motto.

So I rested today, and I'll resist baked goods tomorrow, and it will all sort itself out. That's the right decision, it's the only logical decision. It's a decision I was finally able to make. Tonight.
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