10) Replace 'Hello' with "Praise be to Jesus." Hello has hell in it.
9) Start censoring your own books and movies to save the government money and do your part to pay down the debt.
8) Convert all your money to a more stable currency with a brighter future, like Kenyan shillings.
7) Get that nice 45 shot clip easily convertible to full automatic assault rifle you've had your eye on
6) Turn in that Muslim neighbor with the dog that keeps waking you up at 1 O'clock.
5) Tell your draft-age children to break a leg, even if they're not involved in the theater.
4) Double bill your boss for the time you work and if he asks for an accounting tell him it's a matter of national security and that if he questions you he's a traitor.
3) Cut the salary of your illegal immigrant maid. It's not like she has rights or anything.
2) Start leaving children behind while car-pooling, and tell everyone that the fact you said you wouldn't means you didn't.
1) If you've ever wanted to visit Iran, now's the time.
More to come.