Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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Random thoughts -Practicing for the applications.

Today outside my house there was a truck with "The future of water treatment" written on its side. Underneath that were two warning labels. "Toxic" and "Corrosive." Call me crazy but I think I prefered the past of water treatment.

Yesterday Andrea Dworkin passed away in Washington D.C. Cause of death as yet undetermined, but the medical examiner has ruled out all STDs.

The Pope's death has inspired all manner of spam trying to profit from the pontiff's passing. Spam is a problem in virtually every country of the developed world, except for Israel where it's not considered Kosher.

Trailer Trash Millionairess Britney Spears has been impregnated by ubertrash husband Kevin Federline. Their baby is expected to be born with a silver spoon in its mouth and not an ounce of talent.

As obesity rises in America so does the passion for oversized vehicles. Volkswagen is bucking the trend and re-introducing an old design from the sixties which it is marketing as a "Small and sporty vehicle that will comfortably seat two." Here is a picture of the vehicle.

Speaking of obesity, several obese Kentuckians have filed a lawsuit against the Girlscouts of America. It turns out that Thin Mints are not dietary aides.

Orioles player Sammy Sosa has announced that he will retire from baseball before he hits 40. Orioles fans feel that .040 would be an improvement over his current performance.

George Bush's iPod playlist was revealed recently. It featured no black artists, no gay artists, and a total of one female vocalist. Also strangely absent was "Everybody Wants to Rule the World."

Recently ousted AIG CEO Maurice Greenberg gifted $2.2 billion worth of stock to his wife on Tuesday. Mrs. Greenberg was pleased with the gift but shot down her husband's hopes when she announced that despite the financial windfall she still refuses to do anal.
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