Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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I LIVE

I went to the doctor today to get...well...an absolutely filthy bill of health. When you're obese you never get a true clean bill of health. At best the doctor will look at you suspiciously and say something like "Well according to the tests your triglyceride levels are not so high that you are likely to die right here in my office, but if you do please do me the courtesy of rolling out of the chair because I have other patients and I'm not sure I could move you on my own." In truth he said that my bloods were pretty acceptable, but that the chances of them remaining so would skyrocket if I were less enormously fat.

I like my doctor because he's so warm and courteous even when he's giving you not so great news, and he's not one of those distant clinical "Voice from the mount" doctors. The first thing he did today when I went into his office was ask me if I could help him fix his Adobe Acrobat program, which wasn't working properly. The next thing he did was try to sell me on his new book which he stated was not just for those suffering from dysfunction but also those who want to avoid dysfunction in the future. We then talked about my weight and what to do about it. He made a lot of sense, of course, and most of the stuff he said that I didn't like was because I don't like reality, not his description of it (He said that carbohydrate rich desserts are doubly dangerous because they both contain many calories and stimulate appetite, and that unless there's a big medical breakthrough I will probably never reach a point in my life where weight is not a concern, meaning that even if/when I reach optimal bodyweight I will need to work hard to maintain it.) He prescribed a couple medications and answered a few questions and then sent me on my way, saying I should come back monthly so that he could check progress and offer advice if progress was not occurring.

Overall it was pretty painless and I can't disagree with much of what we discussed. The other reason I like going to my doctor is that he's so media savvy, which leads to him saying things like "Okay, so make you sure you take the liquid calcium every morning, don't forget the fish oils, and catch me on the Conan O'Brien show June 15th!" It appeals to my sense of the odd and the absurd.

I guess the next step is to actually lose weight, regardless of the state of the treadmill, and start on the road to better health. I do feel like he gave some strong pointers that will be useful, and going back to be held accountable will be motivating as well. He agrees with me that the stomach stapling operation has too many health risks to go ahead with now when there's still a possibility that the weight can be controlled without invasive surgery, but that may be a possibility in the future. Nonetheless I remain hopeful and rededicated, repeating my mantra that failure is merely the root of future success, and looking forward to a relatively long healthy life with EXCELLENT erectile performance!
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