Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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Men Without Hats Informational

Recently some unnamed persons have been defaming the song "Safety Dance" by 80's hit makers "Men Without Hats." Now everyone who lived through even part of the 80's knows that these guys were huge. Bigger than Bruce Springstein, U2 and Falco combined. They were also responsible for about 40% of the heterosexual sex that went on during that decade (With Tommy Tutone responsible for most of the rest, and Queen continuing to keep things rolling for the gays) which may explain why everyone thought there was so little of it.

As a scientific effort to pinpoint the monumental effect the unleashing of The Safety Dance had on sexuality during the decade the 80's Cultural Institute is conducting the following poll. It is from a woman's perspective so if you are a non-woman answering it try to think about things from the perspective of a female. Here's a little tip for getting into a womanly mindset. Imagine you find Scott Baio COMPLETELY IRRESISTIBLE. Got that in your head? Alright, you're ready:

Poll #496509 Men WITHOUT Hats poll

When I hear "The Safety Dance" I feel:

Hot Blooded
0(0.0%)
Hot For Teacher
0(0.0%)
Super Freaky
0(0.0%)
Tempted (by the fruit of another)
0(0.0%)
Young Lust
0(0.0%)
Down In It
0(0.0%)
Bad
0(0.0%)
An Eternal Flame (in my pants)
1(12.5%)
That I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
0(0.0%)
Big Dumb Love
0(0.0%)
Just a Touch
1(12.5%)
Jessie's Girl
0(0.0%)
Sabrosa
1(12.5%)
Tainted Love
1(12.5%)
Like My Vagina Has Two Tickets to Paradise
0(0.0%)

Men Without Hats are as Masculine as WHICH 80's icon, from gayest/least sexy to SMOKING HOT SUPERSTUD

Boy George
1(12.5%)
Rick Springfield
1(12.5%)
Tommy Tutone
0(0.0%)
John Mellencamp
0(0.0%)
Adam Horowitz
3(37.5%)
Eddie Van Halen
0(0.0%)
Sting
1(12.5%)
George Michael
1(12.5%)
Prince
0(0.0%)
Michael Jackson
1(12.5%)

# of guys you did (or would have done) the "Safety Dance" with

0-5
2(28.6%)
5-10
0(0.0%)
10-25
1(14.3%)
25-50
1(14.3%)
50-100,000
3(42.9%)

Anything else to add?

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