Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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The rape of the American woman

My friends America is going through a great crisis right now. I am talking about the explosion of homosexuals in our classrooms and our communities, as distasteful as that may be. I am not talking about the whorishness of our young women or the pharmaceutical pimps who would give them drugs to try and avoid their shame and responsibility. I am not even talking about the traitors who call for the abdication of American defense with their claims that Guantanamo Bay is anything less than a necessary part of the war against Islam, oops, I mean terror. Wink wink. No, what I am talking about is a different kind of crime. A crime against the young mothers of this beautiful nation. A crime perpetrated against them with the knowing conspiracy of their husbands, doctors, and 'friends.' A crime so epic in proportion that it boggles the very mind. I am talking, of course, about the rape of our nation's women...

By babies.

Babies are raping our women in untold numbers, and we do nothing. We sit back and call it "natural childbirth" or...please excuse my language..."Vaginal delivery." Well there is nothing natural about it, and as for the foul language version, it shows just what an abomination we are dealing with. Vaginae are receptacles. They are not designed to DELIVER anything. For a woman to expel something from her vagina is like a man sticking something up his penis, which I think we can all agree is very wrong even though it feels AWESOME.

Now you may be surprised to learn about the unnatural nature of childbirth by vagina. Perhaps you believe that god created woman, and in his perfect wisdom he made her without a single flaw, perfectly designed for her greatest task, the bringing forth of children into this world. Well you're wrong. God is completely infallible but he dropped the ball here, dropped the ball big time.

You see the only way out of a woman's uterus, where babies grow, is through her genitals. Babies also have genitals. This means that when a baby is born through the vagina the risk of genital to genital contact is astronomical. It is a pretty safe bet to say that in most births, especially of a male child, the walls of the vagina come into contact with the genitals, in this case the penis, for extended periods of time.

If that's not sex I don't know what is.

Now the question you should be asking yourself is would you allow another man to place his penis inside your wife or daughter? How about his mouth? His whole head? His entire body? Of course not. Now some of you hippies out there might be arguing that the man's opinion is irrelevant, that women have the right to their own bodies. Bullshit. When an egg is fertilized inside a woman she has the duty to bring it into this world, that's an established moral fact. She is a vessel. As such her opinion is irrelevant, and indeed she cannot choose whether to have a baby or not, that's in god's hands. No my friends it is up to us to protect the honor of our women by keeping babies out of their vaginae. Remember that as soon as sperm enters egg a human being is brought into this world. A human being who will nine months later come to know the most intimate parts of your wife's body.

Thankfully we have a tool to keep our women free of baby rape, and that is the cesarean section. The C-Section has fallen out of favor recently because there are health complications and dangers. Well I for one believe that the moral complications of allowing your son to penetrate your wife's vagina are much greater than any risk of internal hemorrhaging. Let's get real here.

Once a baby is out in the world he is the most precious gift from god you could ever receive, but until then he is a would-be rapist stalking your beloved wife, hiding in the place where she is most vulnerable, within her. This is part of original sin, the original sin of incest that occurs every time a woman bears a child through the vaginal route. We can end this moral crisis easily. Cesarean sections are there for the taking. Let us not allow this plague to continue to plague us. Let us fight back against the immorality of babies and their mothers!

As for breast feeding, well, if you would not allow a full grown man to go up to your wife and start to suck fluid from her breasts then you should not allow a baby to do so either. God gave us formula and minds of our own. Let's use them.
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