Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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Worst Job Ever?

On the television show 24 there's a guy whose job it is to interrogate innocent coworkers. All the guilty ones are dealt with by Jack Bauer so this guy just gets the ones who didn't do anything. He straps them down in a chair and pumps painful drugs into them while shouting obscenities in their faces. In the end an enraged Bauer rushes into the room and, holding a gun up, demands the release of the innocent prisoner.

Is this the most thankless task in the history of humanity? I mean this guy doesn't seem to enjoy torturing people, he never actually does anything to improve national security, his employment is only necessary because the higher-ups at CTU are invariably going to make a mistake about who the mole is, and they're going to need someone to do unspeakable things to that person until they manage to get their heads out of their asses. I imagine this makes things rather awkward at the Christmas party.

"So, Joel, how about that time I tortured you for 5 hours thinking you were in league with that Saudi terror group when it turned out you just love Turkish Taffy? Those were some fun times, huh? Where you going?"

I also imagine he doesn't get a lot of play among the office women, most of whom he has at the very least been ordered to hover over menacingly. I just hope he's well paid, because I'd imagine it's easy to burn out at the job and hard to find a new one.

"Sorry Mr Landry, I can't really get a good reference from my last job. See I tortured my boss, a matter of national security. Then I tortured her boss, on the orders of the president, and then the person sent to replace him..tortured that guy too. I have skills other than torture, though. I'm a great typist. Good team player. Umm...I promise I won't torture YOU...you know...unless I have to."

I mean working in a sewer is bad, but at least you know you're adding something positive to the social situation. Being the "Oops, wrong person" torture guy just has to suck. Am I wrong?
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