Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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Homophobia...it's for faggots

The year is 2006. If you are over the age of 12, when you still think girls have cooties and that sex is some sick twisted practical joke adults are playing, you no longer have any excuse for homophobia.

Seriously. None.

Maybe back in 1920 when all the gays were closeted and all that people had to go on were rumors of the dark things that desperate men did to one another in the darkness of night, there was an excuse. After all back then many people didn't actually KNOW a gay person, at least not an openly gay one, and all they got was anti-homosexual propaganda.

Fast forward 86 years.

Nowadays the gays have crawled out from the shadows of society. We have seen them and they...look a lot like us. Only with better hair. And nicer shoes. Everyone knows a gay person. And if, by some chance (Say you live in some fundamentalist hellhole) you don't, well, you've seen them on TV and in the movies. You've enjoyed the work of gay performers, writers, and thinkers. We as a society have seen that gays not only can be, but are, normal and productive people who are neither hypersexualized nor more prone to criminal activity than anyone else.

Why then, should they be denied the rights and privileges of anyone else? Why is a gay relationship less valuable than a straight one? They should not, and it is not. I happen to be a straight man. I have spent a lot of the last week or so wishing Colorado and New York were closer so I could have sex with





But if I had received different hormones in the womb (the most plausible explanation for why people may be born gay) I might instead be wishing that



was more amenable to my charms. And what's the fundamental difference between wanting Person A to suck my dick and wanting to suck the dick of person B?

There isn't one. Desire is an accident of nature and psychology. I could no more will myself to want to make love to Person B than I could make myself hate the taste of chocolate.

And what if I wanted to settle down and marry one of those people? What would the difference be then? None, really. All that matters is whether the person is consenting and unattached.

Gay marriage is really the last refuge of the homophobe. At this point anyone who says gays shouldn't be allowed to hold certain jobs is treated like a crank and a bigot. Lawrence Vs. Texas was the last gasp of the "Sodomy is WRONG" crowd. So gay marriage is where the bigots retreat so they can still snipe at and attack their prey in public without being shunned.

The thing is, their arguments are CRAP. Each and every anti-gay marriage argument is retarded. And anyone who supports them is a small-minded bigot, or worse, a panderer TO small-minded bigots.

The arguments:

1) Marriage has always been between a man and a woman.

The tradition of marriage is long and ugly. It's full of people (women mostly) treated like property, entire populations whose marriages were decided by their parents in order to form strategic alliances, and shit where a rapist would be let off for his crime if he'd agree to marry his victim (Still goes on.) Miscegenation laws meant that in America White/Black marriage was just as taboo as gay marriage is today. Should we have kept it that way because "It's the way things have always been?" Traditions aren't valuable because they are traditions. They need additional factors to recommend them.

2) Marriage is about procreation.

So barren women shouldn't be allowed to marry? Old people? Men who've had vasectomies? Why not try and pass a law banning those groups from wedding. Good luck with that.

3) Kids should have both a father and a mother.

Let's ban divorce. Look, it's probably true that the OPTIMAL home life for a child is a father and a mother, just because of modeling of gender roles. But almost none of us have optimal home lives. If we're going to ban gays from having kids we should ban alcoholics, drug addicts, molesters, criminals, depressed people, and Republicans. Gay parents can do just fine, and would do even better if society was more accepting. Ask the average person raised in a gay home if he or she would rather have been raised in foster homes and they'd look at you like you were crazy. Which you would be. As for the argument that gay parents produce more gay children...not true. But so what if it were?

4) Gay marriage hurts heterosexual marriage.

Dude, if your marriage sucks so much that Bob and Al down the street getting hitched will cause you to get divorced...YOU WERE GOING TO GET DIVORCED ANYWAY. In all likelihood gay marriage would strengthen heterosexual marriage, since gays tend to be trend-setters, and a lot of straight men right now are jealous of the fancy-free unattached lifestyle gay men can maintain. One they start getting hitched...well...they're the same as anybody else.

5) Sanctioning gay marriage is sanctioning gay sex. Gay sex is frowned upon in the bible.

Great! Fantastic reason for you not to have gay sex. Nothing to do with the law, but a good reason for YOU not to get rammed in the butt. Me? I don't need an ancient book to tell me not to suck another man's cock. I kind of figured that out on my own. It's not for me. I don't really understand gay attraction...I mean women have breasts and vaginae, what's not to like? Frankly I'm surprised all women aren't lesbians. Why would you want to touch a cock when you can be sucking on a titty? But fortunately for me some of them seem to like penises. So why is it not natural that some men might as well? The more people we have furthering the notion that sucking cock is fun fun fun the better off we all are, fellas.

6) Gays don't stay together

First of all...Lesbians cling like magnets. Secondly, the main reason that gay men don't stay together is because it's HARD to maintain a relationship when society is frowning at you, saying loudly that you shouldn't keep the relationship going, and making you keep things on the down low. Frankly I admire the gay couples that DO stay together quite a bit. They manage to survive a lot of adversity. And there would be more of them if gays could marry.

7) Gay marriage will open the door to polygamy and GOAT SEX

First of all...it probably will open the door to polygamy. And that's okay. Polygamy is an old and venerable practice that exists in many societies today. I'm not promoting it, but if two guys and a girl all want to pledge their undying love...why does it matter to me? When people speak ill of polygamy it's usually forced polygamy in mormon offshoots or Arab societies. Well yes, forced marriage is wrong. Let's OUTLAW THAT. Meanwhile we should face facts that different humans have different sexual and relationship needs, and if three or four people satisfy each other...it's NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. None. My guess is that polygamy would be pretty rare were it legal. As for Goat Sex...well a goat is not a consenting adult. Neither is a 12 year old. To fail to differentiate between consenting adults and animals or young children is to be an IDIOT.


The anti gay-marriage movement is just flat out NUTTY. Their arguments have more holes than Glenn Hughes' pants. For us as Americans to treat these arguments as anything other than prejudice and stupidity is to tolerate bigotry disguised as argument. It's time for news commentators to stop treating the nutty right-wing like it has a shred of credibility. There's no credibility here.

If you like women...fuck and marry women.
If you like men...fuck and marry men.

Is that so hard?

Apparently, for the religious right.

P.S. A really fun thing to do would be to have a bunch of right wing guys take a blow job taste test. See if they could tell the difference between a man going down on them and a woman. My guess is no, unless the man were MUCH better by virtue of having the equipment himself. Of course a lot of those dudes might like gay sex more anyway. After all if you need an old book to keep you from ripping the clothes off the nearest Seaman...you're GAY. You're a HOMOSEXUAL. Go with it.
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