Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

It's NOT a miracle

A baby is NOT a miracle. It's the exact opposite of a miracle. It's routine. There are almost 7 billion babies/ex-babies living on earth right now. To put that in context there have been about half a million major-league baseball games played EVER. So is a major league baseball game happening a shockingly miraculous event?

And you know what? You may love your baby, and look at it with googoo eyes and talk about how wonderful it is and how much joy it has brought you, but there's no guarantee it won't turn out to be a fuckup or, worse, something that's absolutely not worthy of love (There are plenty of lovable fuck ups out there.) Adolph Hitler's mommy loved her little fuhrer and probably thought he was 'miraculous' as well.

Babies are selfish, nasty, needmachines. They prey upon our evolutionarily warped minds to make us love them, when in fact if we could shake off the cuteness and bonding we would HATE THEM and wish them ill. Birthing one is a pretty selfish act, which doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, but the world's not exactly hurting for people.

Whenever someone has a baby and claims it's a miracle I want to grab them by the shoulders and say "No! Look, rats can do that. So can wallabies. It's not a miracle, it's just fucking nature. When I take a shit that's not a miracle either."

The only thing that stops me is an aversion to being punched in the face.
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