Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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A new year

I'm not doing anything for New Years. I had a few nibbles of things I might have done, but ultimately none appealed to me. The fact is that 2006 sucked for me. It sucked long. It sucked hard. It sucked like a black hole who is also a Motley Crue groupie. It sucked like a gaping chest wound. It sucked like an Uwe Boll movie.

There was only really one week in October that was any good in 2006, and I was sick as a dog during that week.

I don't want to have a party to celebrate 2006. I want to have a wake. I want to spit on its corpse and defecate on its grave. I want to bend its girlfriend over its coffin and ass-fuck her.

But that's impossible, since years don't have girlfriends and even if they did they'd be incorporeal and thus completely immune to any attempts at ass fucking.

Instead I'm going to sit here for the next two hours saying goodbye to 2006 me. Because I'm not going to be the same person in 2007. I can't afford to be.

The fact is that while I've had some tough knocks in my life I've also done a lot to make sure that I would have a suckass year. Primarily I've lacked aggression. It's not like I've been nothing but a loser in my life. I kicked ass at my Ivy League college, to the point where women would come up to me and say "I'm in one of your classes and I just wanted you to know that you kick ass." I kicked ass in my writing group a couple years ago. I blew the fucking doors off it on a regular basis. I kicked ass in my screenwriting class this year, blowing the teacher away right from the outset.

My problem is that I don't put myself in position to kick ass often enough. I sit back. I play video games. I'm shy. I'm dismissive. I'm aloof.

Well fuck that. 2007 will be the year of my putting myself out there and taking shots. And if I fail? I'll try again.

So my first few years out of college haven't been perfect. So fucking what? The first semester in college I almost failed all my classes before I dropped out. I went back and I got Phi Beta Kappa while competing against people who actually cared about such things. Spectacular failure doesn't rule out success.

So I'm going to wait out the next couple of years relaxing and just letting shit slide, then I'm going to hit 2007 as hard as I can and see what happens. Hopefully next New Years will be significantly different than this one. Regret and depression don't really lead anywhere. I'm gonna hitch my wagon to hope and see where that leads.
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