Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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The beauty of Amazon.com

This morning I logged on to Amazon.com to look for a book about the Cargo Cults. I was, of course, immediately confronted with a bunch of personalized advertisements for products Amazon thinks I might like. Some were odd (a couple blenders) some mildly interesting (Frasier season sets and a book on magic tricks) and some I already had (Sublime and Ramones CDs.) One, however, was especially interesting.

"Amazon.com now offers over 200 kinds of Jerky!"

Now leaving aside the fact that I didn't know there were 200 kinds of jerky (Beef jerky, pork jerky, buffalo jerky...alligator jerky? emu jerky? mastodon jerky? chupacabra jerky?) why is Amazon suggesting Jerky for me? Did they buy too much and now have to unload it with everything? (Infinite Jest? Wonderful book. You're gonna want some Jerky with that, though. Makes a good bookmark AND a delicious snack, so you don't have to stop reading to go to the fridge. How convenient is that? I see you also bought 'Vegetarian Cooking for two.' You're probably gonna want a nice piece of jerky to go along with that. We've got vegan jerky. Tofu with the consistency and flavor of shoe leather. Really good stuff.) Is there something about me that says "Potential Jerky lover?"

Just imagine. A mere 10 years ago if you wanted Jerky you had to go to your local supermarket or foods store and make do with the pathetic jerky selection they had available (Try getting a nice piece of gazelle jerky at C-town. Just try it.) Now, through the wonder of technology and the internet, 200 types of jerky at your fingertips. And that's just from one store. One gussied up BOOK store. I'll bet that if you take the time to find the jerky specialization websites there are hundreds more varieties of dry salty meat that you can order with just the click of a button.

It's truly a wonderful time to be alive. And a wonderful time to love jerky.

P.S. There's even a jerky search function, so that you can achieve maximum jerky searching efficiency.
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