Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

One of the things I've been able to do more as I get older is externalize unjust criticism. By this I mean I'm able to discern when someone is attacking me because of their flaws, rather than mine. It's a skill I should have cultivated at an earlier age, but that's irrelevant. Human communication is mostly phrased in terms of facts, but frequently driven by psychological forces. We cannot say "I want you to be impressed by me" so we say "I have a Porsche." We cannot say "I feel inadequate and want to demonstrate control over the situation" so instead we say "For future reference, you should ask me first."

The next step is for me to externalize my own irrational criticisms of myself, but that's more difficult because it requires delving into my own psychological motivations, which is always a thorny thicket.
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