Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Stunned by my own reflection, looking back sees me too clearly and I swore I'd never go there again.

A lot of stuff going on, not much time to write. An Ironic inverse relationship between time for writing and stuff to write about. Reality is never fucking convenient.

So...let's see. I've done a bunch of school stuff. Took my Spanish mid term and feel decent about it. Also turned in a crappy answer to questions about Bodas De Sangre, a play that would be much easier to read if I actually, you know, like, KNEW SOME FUCKING SPANISH. I got a good grade on my first composition so I shouldn't sweat this too much but I was seriously out of my depth trying to answer this batch of questions. It was like they were written in a foreign language. Anyway I think I muddled through.

Work rolls on. On monday I did some filing which was made worse because the forms I was filing appeared to have been filled out by a group of illiterate chimps having a collective day of spazzing. I think that when well over 25% of the sample can't manage to fill out their names in the correct spot the rest of the data has to be suspect. I mean yeesh, someone put down the year as 20001. You'd think that even if they can't spell they could at least get numbers right. Oh well, I'd say more but I was told that there was a confidentiality issue involved. I was cleared to complain about the form filling out, primarily because it's mostly the interviewers' faults and they don't get any confidentiality.

Today I had a mandatory sexual harassement seminar and so I had to go straight to school from class. This of course fucked up my diet for the day since I couldn't lunch at home, but my diet has been fucked for weeks. I haven't GAINED any weight though so I figure I can afford to just hold steady until I can manage to start losing again. Anyway the sexual harassement seminar was as stupid as one would expect it to be. It was a sexist proceeding headed by the all female diversity department. The highlight of the time was when the fucking chicks couldn't get the damn TV to work and had to go find a man to figure out what was wrong with it.

I had to REALLY bite my tongue at that point. It turned out that they had merely forgotten to rewind the tape.

Then we watched the video about how traditional male/female rolls are completely unapplicable in modern society.

Anyway the whole thing left me with a bitter taste. There were no examples of men being sexually harassed, it didn't address how much damage sexual harassement fear does to communication, and it never showed an example of something that WASN'T sexual harassement.

Frankly if it wasn't for my competant intelligent female supervisor my job would make me think that all women were total idiots (An astute reader asks: "How is that a change?").

The rest of work was basically data entry, except nobody seems to know how to do it and I'm just really confused because nobody will give me firm criteria. But I'll muddle through. Also it was annoying because some chick was crying in Spanish to her boyfriend over the telephone. She did this for like an hour. I thought about saying "Your rants against men (she said some nasty things about "Los Hombres") make me uncomfortable" but I'm not going to be some pussy who can't handle a little ranting. That'd make me no better than THEM.

After work I went to class, naturally, which wasn't too bad. Since I'd bitten my tongue and acted like a good little moron during Sex Harassement Ed I made a lot of comments during class.

On a tangent, I really can't learn or do much of anything if I'm not talking or asking questions. Part of this is because I'm the most interesting person there is to myself. This is true in pretty much every social situation I have been in with the ONE exception of She-Who-Is-Now-But-A-Fading-Memory-Of-A-Could-Never-Be. I also tend to ask questions, hear part of people's responses, figure out where they're going, and then launch a counterargument without waiting for them to finish. I am an impatient conversationalist and most people bore me with simple and obvious thoughts. I do this in class and it's generally a bad idea. I've given up trying to be thorough and intellectual on LJ because it impresses nobody, but I still try in real life and it still doesn't win me any friends.

Anyway, Developmental class was pretty decent, except that for some reason seeing video of children sets my biological clock in motion.


I'm a 20 year old male still living at home and attending in college who, in terms of romantic relationships, has not gotten past the "EWW! Girls have COOTIES" stage why the hell is my baby alarm clock ringing? I have a couple theories. They range from my Preplanned life syndrome where I feel that because I have ruled out the possibility of marriage I am already feeling the loss of being old and childless, to the whole "well my dad aborted the job so I want to take over where he left off but to do that I need a 12 year old kid." None of them seem very sane.

Besides which I'd almost certainly make an abysmal father.

After class I talked politics with the professor and came off a lot more liberal than I've started thinking of myself. I guess my politics are just weird. I like conservative ideas but dislike conservative politicians because they tend to implement those ideas in corrupt and horrible fashions.

If I could vote again in the 2000 election I'd vote Nader.

I guess that's most of what I have to say. I predict this long entry getting me cut from at least one friends list (which I don't understand why I'm on in the first place) and that's cool.

Little disturbed that I didn't have more to say though.

How many brilliant thoughts have slipped through the cracks of my mind while I haven't had enough time to post regularly?

Or maybe I AM just becoming stupider. Perhaps in a month or so I'll just be your AVERAGE smart person instead of Ben the intellectually dominant.

That's a depressing thought.
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