Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Everybody says they're in your corner. Be surprised to find one friend at all.

Well this journal is one year old today. That's right, 365 have come and gone since I started typing up my alleged "thoughts" and putting them on this here internet thingamagigabob.

So. It seems like a decent time to reflect on what's changed/stayed the same since then. How my life has gone since one day, in what must have been a state of simulated drunkeness since I don't have the excuse of actual inebriation for this, I decided to throw inhibition to the wind and type up stupid shit that I'd never say in the light of day for all the world to see.

By now you've all stopped reading. This is probably for the best. But if you HADN'T stopped I'm sure you'd be dying for my self assessment.

Yeah Right.

Anyway, in terms of my ACTUAL life things have probably improved on the whole. I mean by normal standards I'm doing much better. Grades have shot up, I've got a job, lost weight, fewer moodswings, no longer depressed in any meaningful sense of the word, etc... etc... yada yada yada. Also I have a sweet new bike. It's yellow.

On the other hand, by radically increasing my stress load and the amount of STUFF I'm doing I have also cut down significantly on the amount of time I have to relax, rest, and most importantly, think. One of the things I really liked about being a slacker was the sheer amount of time it left me for pondering and consideration of the world around me. I enjoy introspection, extrospection (worry about your OWN made-up words Punkmeisters) and all other forms of spection and there's not a lot of time for it these days. Still, I guess the good outweighs the bad....or at least that's how I should think.

On a more personal level I finally managed to get over.... and to wall myself back off to prevent future mishaps like that from occuring in the future. That is decidedly a GOOD thing.

In terms of the journal things have been less good. As I've increased my business I've decreased my introspection and thus my journaling. Also the quality of my journaling has definitly dropped off significantly. I think I had more to say, and better stuff to say, back when I was broodier and more insecure. I talked more philosophically and about more political topics. Of course this also took more time, and some of those posts have migrated to the debate community, but the quality has definitly gone down. The journal has pretty much become just the story of my life...and who wants to read THAT?

Of course an overall disapointment is that in a whole year I haven't accrued many friends or ANY regular commentors (Well there have been two, but they were female so they don't count). Now part of this is intentional, I don't add people before they add me EVER and I tend to make a decent effort to drive people away (Please See: "They were female so they don't count") but I definitly feel slightly slighted by the fact that so many god awful journals have loads of readers. It's not so much that I want stupid people commenting, it's more a matter of competitiveness.

So I guess that's the wrap up. 365 days come and gone, me older, life slightly better (maybe), journal much worse.

I could have just put that at the begining and saved a lot of time, huh?
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