Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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I could have been guessing wrong

Last night I saw the film “Mulholand Drive” by David Lynch and...well...I thought I liked it until I read a critic’s interpretation of it, which made sense but was a lot less interesting to me than my interpretation. It’s irritating how if the overall vision of a film is wrong I can’t enjoy the individual aspects of it. For me the trees are nothing if the forest they are in is an ugly and barren one.

The last couple days have been pretty glorious ones. Long lazy stretches of summer time where nothing is done that isn’t fun and there seems to be nothing in the world beyond bright blue skies, big green pine trees, and the graphite gray water that laps gently at the rocks by the dock. There have been ducks, gulls, deer, a very large frog that didn’t move when I splashed it and reacted with only minimal irritation when it was trod upon by a duck. There has been kayaking and swimming and drinks in the evening with a lovely family (Baltimorian ex-pats like so many around here) I know that it’s all going to be over after one more day but I feel like I had at least a few days of serious relaxation and pleasure at “the lake.” I didn’t get 1/10th of the reading or the hiking done that I wanted to but that’s to be expected. Set goals that are too high else you run the risk of getting nothing done at all.

Now there is the issue of the impending school year. I think I want to switch my psychology course for one that isn’t introductory (I’ve taken way too many intros already) but I’m not sure which other one I want, and I can’t do anything until august 31st anyway, although to be honest I should probably be emailing people already (Damn it, I’m on vacation.) This next semester promises to be a grind it out one rather than one devoted to the sheer joy of learning, but that’s alright. I’ll grind it out and then get to the business of studying what I want to study for my last 3 semesters while having gotten rid of all my requirements in advance. All I need is 1-3 great classes to give me motivation and help me pull through.

I must say that Maine gives me visions of the future that New York does not. There’s a continuity of my life up here that makes me truly believe that life WILL continue. In the city I live day to day, not daring to worry about anything over the temporal horizon. Here I can almost live year to year and have perspective as to where I stand and where I should walk from here. Next time I really do need to find the time to spend 2 weeks instead of one up. It’d be good for my mental health I think.

Why is it that I dislike youth so much? It seems to me that most people cherish it and miss it when it’s gone but I frankly can’t wait until it’s over. Until I find direction and peers who aren’t so entranced by the freedom to do stupid things that they can’t see the pointlessness in actually doing them.

Of course there are certain aspects of aging that I could definitly do without. Like the fact that I’m already starting to bald (I was warned about this by my bald pated father, and grandpappys.

I get perverse pleasure out of the fact that I will buy my first bottle of Rogaine before my first bottle of beer though.
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