Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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You could come and see them when I'm done. When I'm done.

This has been a half decent week.

It started, as many weeks do, on monday which went pretty smoothly. I managed to get a little sleep sunday night, and was able to have a relaxing morning thanks to the fact that my first class is at 11. I really needed a relaxing morning after the rollercoaster weekend.

Foreign Policy was pretty average. I think that professor Baldwin is a bit of a dork but he's not a BAD lecturer and it's obvious that he likes the material even if he tends to flake out on some details from time to time. Enthusiasm from the instructor can do a lot to make a class interesting, or at the very least non-torturous. Anyway the class was pretty average and not all that memorable, at least as an experience (I'm definitly learning.)

The discussion section for the class was a little more...interesting. First of all instead of actually talking about the class material we spent the session discussing Iraq. The discussion was semi-interesting but unfortunatly we had a French chick in the class who insisted on being all European and lauding the wonders of the United Nations etc... Most of us Yankees were trying to at least pay lip service to what she was saying, but finally the TA responded to something she said by asking "And what major foreign policy has France proposed in the UN in the last 50 years?" That got her to quiet down a bit.

The other issue was the TA. She apparently misunderstood her job description and thought that there was an & in between the two letters of the acronym. About 30 minutes into the 1 hour session I noticed that you could see her nipples through her blouse. Now if anyone reading this happens to be male and remotely shy OR respectful you can guess what happened next. I spent the next 30 minutes trying not to stare at the little brown hipnodots and periodically failing. Normally my strategy is just to look in an entirely different direction but since she was the TA I had to spend most of the time looking in her direction, and, well it's hard to pay attention to a face (nice though it was) when you are fully and completely aware that just below said face there are twin happyspecks clearly visible. I did a decent job of not viewing the pointer sisters, but I did glance a couple times just by instinct and I think she might have seen it, since she shot me a dirty look. It's not MY fault I'm a human me I'd be MUCH happier if you covered up.

I don't understand why women DO These things. First with the pants that start down at the calves and now the translucent shirt without a bra. What the hell is up with that? Do they think "Well gee I want to experience all the fun of dressing in the morning without any of the protection of my modesty that such an action provides. How is that possible? Oh wait! I know...I'll just wear clothes that don't HIDE anything and have the best of both worlds!"

CC is a little better than it was at the begining. The professor's actually not too bad, she has some language problems but she goes through the material well and it's not like she's incomprehensible.

Tuesday was somewhat harder. It started at 9:10 AM with another good psych class and then continued through until 6 with classes alone. I had to write another boring assignment for my American Politics class. I really hate those discussion section assignments. At least they're only pass fail. I also had trouble concentrating due to weariness but that happens from time to time.

Diana from the spring semester (czech girl, statistics class) emailed me in the morning asking how I was and we exchanged a couple notes throughout the day, whenever I had half a second to write. It was noteable for me since I rarely maintain contacts from semester to semester, especially contacts of the ...non-male type. She was in Prague during the flood, but her family didn't lose anything important. I did think of her during the flood but didn't bother emailing because I figured that if my city was under feet of gushing water I wouldn't exactly want an email from some annoying guy from one of my classes the previous semester.

" may remember me from such thoughts as 'why won't he go away?' and 'doesn't he realize that if I'm not laughing I don't find it funny?' I just wanted to drop you a line and ask the same annoying questions everyone's been asking since your city got on the news." didn't seem like it would be HELPING.

I also made a critical mistake. Thinking that it was tuesday and since I wasn't going to get into the Mock Trial association anyway I might as well check out another club I fell into the trap laid by the psychology club. They left posters around the student center advertising the first session, and even though it was in a BARNARD (the girls' college attached to Columbia) room I decided to check it out anyway.

Little did I expect the horror that would await me when I arrived. The absolute spine chilling terror of


That's entire ROOM of the evil creatures. I got there a little early and there were only two of them...sitting at a table pleasant as can be. Naturally I was a little disturbed to find myself outnumbered by the estrogenites, but they were rather scrawny things and I figured I could take them if push came to shove. One of them was even a redhead so I assumed she was naturally fragile. I sat down...and more started to drift in. Girl after girl after a macrabe parade of monstrosities...only with soft skin and breasts instead of third heads or footlong fangs. I almost bolted then and there...but a guy showed up and sat down next to me and I allowed myself to relax. I figured that there would be more of us. No more even came.

I was nervous then...wondering where exactly I was and why this club was entirely made up of longhairs. Were they praying mantis types who mated with the males and consumed them? Was this a chick thing? Would there be references to N'Synch?

Then about 10 of them walked in together, created a line of chairs behind me, and the trap was sprung.

About 10 minutes into the proceedings the other guy, who had come in with his girlfriend, smelled a rat and vacated leaving me alone to face the 28 girlcreatures in the room. There was much discussion of electing preapproved candidates for club offices. There was only one for each office. Refreshments were served and all the chicks went straight for the baby carrots until one of them was brave enough to try a cookie at which point they all went back, like sheep, for cookies. I tried to calculate how much damage I'd do to the building and myself if I leapt out the window. The meeting continued at a snails pace as the women who ran it engaged in the most stereotypical feminine feel good meeting running I have seen in my life, no agenda and way too much personal information. I ran a few calculations in my head and realized that there was a very good chance that at least 2-3 of the women in the room were on their period. Then I remembered tales of how the female when left alone with others of her kind will synchronize her period to the others of her clans. I learned this from a book which also explained that up to 5 females can reside in a single lair without a single sock or pizza box spending more than 24 hours on the floor, although that seemed a bit farfetched. Regardless...I stopped thinking about periods.

The meeting droned on.

About half way through I found out that I wouldn't be able to attend the club anyway since it was going to be moved to wednesdays and I have class but I was too terrified to get up and leave.

After what seemed like 36 years the meeting finally came to a close with some very bad very female oriented jokes. I won't recount the horrors that I went through but let's just say that they included some very disturbing insights into how the minds of females "work." I also can no longer grow chest hair.

When I left the club shellshocked some girl said to me "Was it just me or were you as bored and itching to leave as I was?" I indicated that it wasn't just her. She may have been an enemy agent. If this is my last entry you'll know what happened.

The rest of tuesday night was a blur.

Anyway today was pretty decent. I saw a bunch of friends on campus which was cool, made me feel like I fit in sort of. I wrote a rather lousy paper for anthro but don't feel bad since the article that it was based on was horrendous. Anthro itself was pretty damned bad today but I'll wait to pass judgement. It's only once a week anyway and some of the material is pretty interesting. Hopefully another class like this won't happen.

One more day until the week's done and I can rest and FINALLY catch up on some of my work. I'm excited.

I'm still a little upset about the psychology club trap though. It was CALLED the Columbia Psychology club and the president has a Columbia email address even though she's a bumpychest (by gender if not by actual physical description.) but the club is Barnard through and through from faculty to the psychology program it is oriented towards (it runs a lot of stuff for Barnard psych classes and none for Columbia psych classes.)

I guess that's what I get for exploring.
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