When I was a little boy my father used to motivate me in almost everything I did. From horseback riding to school he'd drive me like he drove himself, and I excelled. Ever since he's been gone I've been waiting for something to take his place, and I know it has to be me...I KNOW! But I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I get up the urge and build the energy and then it fizzles. I don't know if I have it in me. Jesus, I don't know much of anything at this point.
Thinking about the fall semester and what classes I will take. I should also take some extra cirricular stuff just because. I need to meet interesting and worthwhile people, where are they hiding. I can honestly say that at this moment right now I'm not afraid of death....just of pain.
I'm just afraid of pain.