Okay...that was a bit melodramatic but so was the Jets' second half melt down against the Raiders. Melodramatic and unpleasant. It wasn't as bad as the Giants loss because it was less spectacular and less contraversial but it was still remarkable in its own way considering how effective the J E T S Jets Jets Jets had been in the first half.
The next semester is rapidly approaching and I am ready for it in a sort of resigned "This is going to be a let down" way. It's not that I'm not excited about my classes, there are certainly a couple that look like they will be bundles of fun, but taking only 4-5 classes will definitely be a significant change. I'll have more time and fewer excuses both regarding school and other elements of my life. Hopefully there won't be any emptiness but if there is I will need to find a way to deal with it. Last time I took 5 classes I found myself spending a good deal of time just chilling and killing time. Last time I took 4 classes I rediscovered anime and got involved in that scene via the web.
I haven't accomplished most of the stuff I intended over the break and now there's barely over a week left. Better get cracking, especially with deleting all that extra email, even if there are a few things I should get rid of that I can't bring myself to erase.
I watched a documentary on a UFC fighter after the football game, or at least part of it. If you want to see something truly inspiring and yet grotesque you should check it out, it's one of those HBO things. Living a dream can keep your eyes closed to what's going on around you.
I think two of the most important lessons in life are that anyone who claims to have all the answers is lying, and probably to himself, and that one of the major keys to happiness is finding a way to deal with your past so that you neither regret the mistakes you had to make nor justify those that you made. There are others, like that women are irrational creatues of darkness, but the first two are pretty important.
It's funny. I've come a long way from the bottom and yet I still can't see the edge of the pit. I feel like I'm at that point in between where you can't see much of anything but darkness and feel the cold steel of the ladder and you wonder if you'll be climbing forever and whether you should turn back. Fortunately for me I'm too dumb and stubborn to turn back, but I've stopped having faith that there really is an exit and started to get comfortable in the darkness. I wonder if that's healthy.