Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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Don't let me second guess what I know to be real.

Wasn't a great superbowl. The Raiders fantabulous offense made it seem more competitive than it actually was since many thought they could still win even when they were down 20-3 at the half, and indeed if they had shut the Bucs out for the rest of the game they would have pulled off the victory, but the gambles they had to take just to get back into striking range resulted in 3 wrong way TDs and sealed the game tighter than an ice princess' legs.

I won two bets I made on the game, picking the Bucs to win because of Gruden. I'm not going to hold to losers to their sides of the deal since I bet for the trash talking rights, not for whatever I could get out of the bargain. It helps this time I sent a trash talk email to one of the losers predicting that the Raiders would rally when the score got to 35-3. I was off by a point but it's still a decent prediction. Add the fact that I predicted the Donovan McNabb turnover at the end of the Eagles game last week and that I predicted the Giants would lose while they were still up 38-14 and I think I've gotten a pretty decent understanding of this whole football thing, which means it might be time to move on to another interest, as per my pattern.

The superbowl commercials stank this year though. There were only maybe 5 amusing ones. Also why was Celine Dion singing "God Bless America?" Were there no Mariachi bands available?

The other major sports event (not counting the Agassi win in the Aussie Open which I didn't watch) was significantly less enjoyable. Vernon Forrest got his clock cleaned by Ricardo Mayorga. Boxing is probably the most depressing sport to watch when the guy you're rooting for loses. There's no redemption, just a beat and bloody guy trying to clear his head so he can explain why he just got it taken off.

I found out what my project this semester is going to be. I'll be going over to the New York Neurological institute to work on a study involving localization of language in the brain. Should be pretty interesting although I don't know the people that I'll be working with, which might put a bit of a crimp in things.

I did have dinner with my late Grandfather's girlfriend on friday and it certainly provided food for thought, in addition to a lovely dish of Mahi-Mahi. I don't really have time to express everything that went through my mind, nor do I know how to. It was an entirely different time in my life, a time that feels so alien to where I am now that most of my memories of it feel like memories of dreams. It's weird...I have a perfectly intact and pretty great, if increadibly geeky, childhood, this nightmare of an adolescence replete with just about every concievable problem except drugs or poverty, and then for the last four years or so...I have felt pretty much dead. As an organism I've continued to survive and there have been specific events of high emotion but in general it's just been...bland days bleeding swiftly into bland nights and cycling faster and faster towards oblivion.

In some ways it's more frustrating than anything. My life was rolling along seemingly with direction and some momentum when things just sort of unraveled and now I'm left not even knowing HOW to put the pieces back together.

There were a lot of other things to think about brought up by the dinner but like I said I don't really have time.

Even five classes might be a bit much this semester. I'm considering cutting it down to four although I'm going to wait on that until I see whether I can catch up on the reading and get into a flow.

I wish I could do the last 4 years over knowing what I do now. I guess that's a pretty common wish. Still I kind of regret the fact that my college career is ending and I haven't taken certain classes that I might have benefited from. That's what I regret..not the lack of women or wine...the fact that I missed out on the opportunity to be exposed to certain kinds of ideas. Of course I COULD just ditch the poli-sci major and take those classes next year. That's one advantage of the way I did things, I have this psych major pretty much in pocket so if I want to spend my senior year exploring there's nothing stopping me from walking away from political science and just graduating with a major in psychology, which is perfectly respectable.

On the other hand I feel myself drifting more towards poli-sci as something I'd actually want to do so I'm not sure that's a good idea. I don't know...I should find out if I can still keep free tuition after getting 124 credits if I haven't completed my majors. That way I could take some stuff over the summer and next year that would help get rid of some of these jonesings.

I need to stop thinking about the future so much. Need to focus more on present. That's something I definitely should plan on doing when I have the time.
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