Everything I ever had in terms of confidence is leaking out the puncture wounds of my ego. I feel worthless and stupid. I want to slit my wrists and jump out a window. I want to jam a knife up into my nose until I hit brain. I want to rip myself to pieces and shit on the remains. I hate I hate I hate I hate me. I hate me. I HATE ME.
I'm so alone.
I can't even hurt in the good way anymore.
Today has been painful, tomorrow looks worse, I have so much cleaning and preening and such to do. I have office hours to keep that nobody will come to. At least sleep is soon.
I itch in my skin and I itch in my brain and the second one I can't scratch.