Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters
socratic

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The world is gonna roll me

Blech. I know I have a lot of flaws, ranging from weight to my jealous nature, but one thing that really bothers me is my susceptibility to fantasy. Last night I actually got pretty upset because of the noises going on outside the house. Whenever something like that goes on I get these images in my head of horror movies, lately especially Jeepers Creepers, and all the horrible things that happen to them. I don't actually believe in any of that stuff, but it would be so easy just to release one's grip on scientifically accepted reality and delve into the world of ghosts, ghoulies, magic, and psychics. Rediculously easy. I wonder if that's one of the ways in which people go insane. They stop fighting against the tendancies of their own minds to betray them and generate explanations for phenomena they don't understand.

I got some sleep last night after holing up in the bedroom and, well, engaging in a little late night stress release if you get my drift, but I'm sort of mad at myself that I couldn't just ignore the scratching sounds and the creaking of the doors in the other room and fall asleep anyway. Up here there are 84 year old men who live alone year round in creeky scratchy houses, some even without guns. You'd think that if they can do it I should be able to no problemo especially since I'm not alone at the camp.

It's just plain embarassing. The thing is that I'm not naturally a timid person. Cautious yes (even the older folks yesterday took issue with my taking the fuel tank out of the boat to fill it, though it says to do that on the tank itself, and of the fact that I demanded it be wiped down of gasoline before we started using it, because people die in all sorts of ways and not being careful is just inviting disaster) but not timid.

If this sort of fear of the dark stuff doesn't fade with age I wonder if it ever does. Dang nab it it would be irritating if it doesn't.
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