Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Blame it all on chemical intercourse

I am pretty well disgusted with myself at this point. I'm not sure why my self-esteem has been bottoming out the last few days but it certainly has plummeted far below what it used to be. I just really don't like myself right now and I am not sure on the specifics of why.

Yesterday was pretty crappy for the most part. First was my strength training class, which I barely participated in because I'm still sore from Sunday. They announced that we can switch sections and activities if we like and I think the woman glanced at me to imply that I should but I'm not going to. I need to do more weight lifting and my phys ed registration is strange to begin with, I don't want to tempt fate.

Film class was hot and pretty boring. The professor lectured for quite a long time which is unusual for him, and he went through a lot of material very fast. Nobody in the class does the reading before we arrive, partially because it's pretty meaningless until we've actually SEEN the movies, plus we don't need to do it pre-discussion section.

We did see Double Indemnity, which is a pretty good movie. It was interesting to analyze it with knowledge about the advancing technology of sound on film at that point and the Hayes commision. On the other hand there were some pretty serious problems with the film in my opinion. For one thing the relationship between the main character and Phyllis advances in leaps and bounds without explanation. I realize this is probably at least partially a function of censorship rules at the time, but there are ways it could have been handled that would have been allowable. Likewise the way that the main character knew actuary tables and the like was never fully explained. The ending was also quite forced and in fact non-sensical, but the code required it and I can understand the choices that were made to satisfy the censors.

The GED teaching did not go well at all. I brought in a couple articles to read but they were slightly more complex than what the class was ready for and flopped big time. I had a splitting headache throughout the proceedings (possibly because I ate too many carbohydrates as I have been doing for the last few days while trying to find the proper threshhold of consumption for myself) and I made several mistakes, which is rare for me. I couldn't quite describe the difference between atriums and ventricles until a few minutes of study. This of course was the day that the teacher evaluations were carried out so...*sigh.* Just gotta keep going even through the bad days. Science is one of the lesser subjects for the class I have and not a ton of people show up, probably at least in part because they don't feel they need help in science. Maybe I'm just that bad a teacher, I don't know.

On a positive note my terrible note-taking habits finally paid dividends. A certain person who drags around long strands of dead protein on a regular basis apparently missed film class and e-mailed the discussion section looking for quality notes. Normally I try to be helpful to anyone in one of my classes who wants my assistance, because it makes me feel useful and smart, but fortunately I did not have a quandry here because my notes are just a sloppy chickenscrawl and almost anybody else's would be better. I'd wager I understand and know the material as well as anyone else but I'm certainly not going to offer to spend time explaining it to this person, as that would be stupid. To be honest it wasn't that big a deal but I like it whenever my terrible terrible note taking provides me with any sort of advantage because I feel sort of guilty for how poorly I note-take. I retain material well but I can't organize its taking down.

I find the current comparisons between Newsome of San Francisco and Roy Moore of Alabama to be interesting and meritous. Both are governmental officials defying legal requirements that they disagree with. The media did not treat Moore with the respect they are giving Newsome and that's wrong. Gay marriage might be a more meritious cause than glorifying god to some, but it's hardly an open and shut case as far as most people are concerned.

I didn't get to write up a VERY funny petition about one of my mid-terms that I had planned last night because I had a bad headache and my friend Hee-Ann needed Spanish tutoring. I regret that and now it's too late (the class is in 20 minutes.) Oh well, maybe I will try to do something clever in person. Yeah, like I'm capable of that.
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