It was just generally a tiresome and uninteresting experience. I might still get accepted because I have a 3.85 from an Ivy League school and my references/recomendations should be pretty darned good, but I don't even know if I want it at this point. I probably would take it because it would enable me to move the fuck out and give me some time to plan the rest of my life, but something just doesn't feel right. It's too bad I got set on TFA so early, I probably could have gotten an internship with my film professor's company if I had applied for it back when he asked for applicants in march. My TA absolutely loves me (not in a gay way, not that there's anything wrong with that. Wait, she's a she. Not in a heterosexual way, not that there's anything wrong with that.) and I talk enough in class to get the notice of the professor too.
I have a lot of work to do for school this weekend and in the upcoming weeks. It's weird how I feel almost like an out of work graduate already even though I still have 6 weeks of class to go. This weekend alone I have to add camera instructions to my script, write up my journals from the past days of class, and write a 5 page essay for the film class, along with finalizing topics for the final papers in 2 other classes and starting research for the 3rd other class. Maybe I should focus a little more on school for the time being rather than worrying so much about the aftermath. One thing's for sure, I'm ready to be done with my non-film education for at least awhile.
On thursday in my first ammendment class I found myself basically alone against the rest of the people there, as per usual. I was arguing against speech codes and against the idea that racist speech is fundementally different than other types of hurtful speech, based on the fact that the constitution only protects individuals and an individual can be hurt just as much by being called fat or stupid or communist or whatever as being called kike or wop or guinea bastard, or even nigger. Speech codes are also a violation of the 14th ammendment, but I digress.
Anyway at some point during the discussion some girl said "Shockingly I agree with Ben here." Shockingly?!? She was half-joking but it was still pretty insulting. I don't believe myself to be that outrageous or disagreeable.
Side Note: Why have people started calling me Benjamin recently? Since when has it become fashionable to use the 3-syllable version of my name. Enquiring minds want to know. I'm glad I at least have the 3 syllable option though. I think it should be a crime to name your child 'Dave' or 'Sam' or any other nickname. Give them the fullname and the option of shortening it. Okay, it's not a crime but it is at least impolite.
My big green sniper rifle for Silent Scope Complete has not arrived yet. I'm starting to worry. Damn Amazon for betraying me. I need that scope to make SSC make any sense at all as a purchase.
I also need a birthday gift for my mother. I have no idea what she might want.
I can't wait for monday, to be honest. Right now for some reason I am having real trouble just spending time with myself with some freedom to do whatever I like. This is unusual for me. I'm not sure what's going on.