Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Don't become some background noise.

I feel happier as a person now that I'm writing on a regular basis and not just journal entries. In addition to the fiction I've been doing you may have noticed that I've been putting up some more focused and less random entries in my journal. This is in an effort to make some of my entries a little more like real writing and less like random rantings of a disgruntled loser. My shrink tells me that I shouldn't call myself a loser, but I calls em like I sees em. Right now I am a loser, but it's not necessarily a permanent condition. I will do what I can to remedy the situation. Maybe I will always be a loser, but that's okay. I am content at the moment.

As for my writing, I think it's starting to improve to some extent. I'm certainly not satisfied with it, it's like 1-2 years better than what I was doing at the end of highschool and it should be 5 years better. That's time I will never get back, but since my lifespan is an undefined period I'm not sure that's important. What is important is that I'm starting to come up with concepts that I like and individual lines or transitions that please me. The execution, in general, is horrendous. Amateurish crap that is probably unsalvagable. That's one of the reasons I'm not editing right now, this is shit that just plain can't be saved. My goal is to keep writing and hopefully by the end of the summer be 30-40 pounds lighter and have at least one or two pieces that I can polish up to the quality required by like a college literary magazine or something. After that I'll set a new goal and work towards it until I see whether I have the talent or skill necessary to achieve my goals or... not.

My mother's friend and her son are staying with us tonight while he checks out Columbia with the intention of maybe going here at some point in the future. I knew him when he was like 7 and I was like 13. He makes me feel old. He's a cool kid though, I recommended he read the essays of Montaigne.

Crunch time is coming on in school. In fact it's here but it's just not my focus at the moment. It will be soon. Count on it.

Want to know how sick my sense of humor is? When I'd heard that Pat Tillman died in Afghanistan my first reaction was to wonder "Who would understand the joke if I said 'it's still better than playing for the Cardinals' and not get offended?"

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