Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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There's something going on that's not quite right.

We finished the shooting of our film last night. It was a good deal of fun. My High School friends punked me after saying that they might help with the shooting so I was forced to contact a friend from BEFORE high-school. I hadn't seen him for years but he agreed to help, without hesitation. He was great too. I was acting in this scene so we needed someone to do some camera work and he'd had a few film courses so he knew what he was doing and gave us some very credible shots. The scene was a "COPS" rip off and I got to play the criminal. This meant I got thrown to the ground (sort of, Marissa's so gentle she just kinda gave me a very light shove and I flung myself down, but fortunately Emeka, the cameraman, chose that moment to make his big shaky move and start running towards the action so you can't tell.) Then Frank tied my arms behind my back and his HUGE dog (we're talking over 100 lbs EASY) ran up towards me. I was a little leary about lying face down on the ground with my arms tied behind my back while I screamed at and wrestled with this huge unleashed dog's owners, but he was gentle as could be. In fact the only time he interrupted a scene was when he started licking the inside of my ear and I burst out laughing. Then I got muscled up the hill by Frank while shouting obsceneties and threats. It was a ton of fun and I think I did a credible job, mostly becuase I was quick at making up good dialogue and the part was pretty easy. I didn't look too horrible on camera either, except for my splotchy skin and the fact that I look like 18, not appropriate for this particular character. All in all it was a really enjoyable ending to the experience of filming. Now we're going to have to edit which is going to be difficult considering how tight time is, but I think we'll make it through. My paper's not due until friday now so I have a little extra time.

It was great to see Emeka too. He's a really cool guy and we might collaborate on some film stuff again in the future. I don't know why I didn't ask him to hang out earlier, maybe it's just this social anxiety stuff that I have. After filming we came back here and ordered Mexican food and watched American Movie (an appropriate choice.) It was a good time. There's a possibility that he and I may form a small production company to do some video stuff. It would be a lot of fun and even if we make no money it won't be TOO expensive (under 10,000) and it would be MUCH needed experience and portfolio.

My film TA sent out an e-mail to the class saying that the last class would be a Q&A for people who want to get into the film business. I was not prepared for that. I feel intimidated and almost don't want to go because I'm not ready to ask questions. I'm just ready to quietly explore on my own. I also feel somewhat humiliated being a graduating senior who might have to go immediately back to school because I was too much of a pussy to take the right major in the first place. I have to go because I need to go up to Frank's house to finish editing the film, but I'm dreading it pretty intensly. I thought the last class of the semester (and of my pre-B.A. undergrad career) would be easy and breezy (certian people's presence notwithstanding) but instead it's going to be a bundle of neurosis and missed opportunities. Yea! I'm such a coward in some ways and yet not in others. It's somewhat confusing. I feel ashamed, in advance, of my behavior but unable to change it at this moment. Maybe I'll overcome my fears and ask the important questions. Maybe I won't have to.

That's generally not how things work out for me (or for anyone to be honest.)

It may feel good to be a gangster but, uhhh, neurotic Jew...not so much.
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