All this is a way of saying that I feel better but I really don't know why.
I wish that I knew the reason behind my various moods, but while I can explain them all in the moment I also know that there's no true rationale for why they switch while they do. The human mind and body are capricious in the extreme, with behavior that it only sometimes reasonable. I can explain why I got an erection watching the nude model scene in Cleo 5 to 7. Attractive young woman, bare butt and profile of breasts, perfectly reasonable. I cannot explain why I just got an erection checking my exam schedule online. History, wednesday 1:10-4:00, courier 12 point font, powder blue page border...nope that really doesn't add up to 'hard as a rock.' It's probably a morning bloodflow or friction thing, but it's not reasonable in the same way that the Cleo one was.
Neurons and the endocrine system work on cycles too. They aren't cycles that I really understand, not predictable or circadian. Cicadas stay underground for up to 17 years, rising up at the right time of year without benefit of alarm clock or wakeup call. I have no clue how I will feel on Saturday at 8:30 AM although I can predict that I will be suffering through school anticlimax mini-depression.
Speaking of Cicadas, if I get upstate during this brood I am considering eating a few of them. I always wanted to try insect meat, since it's something that people have eaten since time immemorial and Americans only disdain out of prejudice (biologically the meat of a cicada and a lobster are not that different) Cicadas are insects that I've always been fond of, and I feel I could enjoy eating a few of them. Probably far less disgusting than mushrooms, and when you think about it insect eating is much much more humane than the consumption of mammels. Pigs and cows are not that far from us on the evolutionary chain, Cicadas are a good deal further away.
In Vermont, fish shooting season has begun. This is why cultural relativism makes sense. You can argue that democracy and freedom are universal goods that should be shared by everybody, but how can you argue that it's progess when the human race moves from eating bugs to shooting fish. The second ammendment was designed to keep the heads of Americans off the pikes of British soldiers, not to knock the heads off pikes in brooks near Burlington.
Meanwhile the conservatives are celebrating the anniversay of Brown vs Board of Education in the polite kind of way one applauds a Tennis or Golf match. Yes they accept that it was probably a good thing, or at least it's so popular that to call it bad would be as suicidal as getting between a Vermonter and a succulent salmon, but their heart's not really in it. There are various reasons why, for one it was those damned activist judges again, and they recognize the parallels between the declarations of Brown and the declarations of Roe (though Brown is clearly more firmly rooted in the explicit text of the constitution) and for another they recognize that the very progessive values they hate are represented by the decision.
The fact of the matter is, like it or not, a whole lot of the conservative base in the South is shot through with white racism. That's why there's conflict over what to be done with the White League statue in New Orleans. This is a statue that commemorates a terrorist organization, akin to the Klu Klux Klan. Some people want to return it to its place of honor. Some want to send it off to a museum or some other place where it would be put in context as the shameful mark upon our nation's history that it is. I can't imagine why anyone would want to keep it around EXCEPT for racist or historical reasons (and by historical I don't mean to honor the history of our past but rather to remember the dishonor of it.) I mean if there were an Al Qaeda commemoration statue somewhere I doubt there'd be much discussion about whether it should stay or go. But since the terrorists were whites killing blacks, well that's a different story.
You know, come to think of it maybe my mood cycles aren't so strange in the scheme of things. No weirder than fish shooting and certainly less deletirious to the world than the rampant racism that still exists within our society.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to head over to www.mlb.com to get rid of this damned erection.
Someone was arguing with me earlier that the Stanford Prison Experiment had nothing to do with Abu Ghraib and that Phillip Zimbardo himself would see it the same way.
That is one of the reasons I tend to argue on the internet only in cycles. Because there's a lot of people out there who just aren't as bright as I am and absolutely refuse to change their opinions even in the face of overwhelming evidence. I forget that from time to time. That's why I start to argue again.
It may be arrogant as fuck to say that, it may even be offensive. There's a reason this journal used to be called Arrogance Incorporated. That doesn't make it false. I'm not always right, and I do sometimes learn stuff from arguing, but it's still frustrating to be right and contend with unchanging ignorance.