Yesterday I spent a dozen hours with a friend, hanging out, shooting the shit, and watching 2 of the Indiana Jones movies, because he'd never seen them. It was decent, and the movies were a lot of fun, but I think something's wrong with me. Either I'm depressed or the increased carbohydrate consumption of my new diet is slowing my brain or there's some third factor, becuase I'm just not as sharp or interesting as I usually am, and as I like to be. Sure, I made my share of jokes and humorous observations, but damn it I want to be scintelating. I want to scintelate. Is that so wrong? If you hang out with me you're bound to hear weird stuff like "I'm sorry, I just can't date someone who misspells Parthenon." (said in a deep, commanding voice.) but you should also get some good riffs and even some depth. That's just not coming recently, and I can't blame THAT on the TV, especially since we took a 5 mile walk in the park.
I'm going to see Supersize Me today with that friend and another guy, plus his girlfriend who thinks I'm gay. I really don't want to see the film, at least not in public with other people. I'm doing a decent job of losing weight at the moment and I don't need a lengthy treatise on obesity. I especially don't need a discussion of said treatise with 3 thin people, one of whom I don't know very well. I'm not totally sure why I agreed to go, I think it's because I want to see my friends. The movie is not going to be pleasant though.
As for the girl who thinks I'm gay, well I'm planning to ham it up for her. I'm going to go there carrying a copy of "The Gay Times" and I intend to be limp risted, lisping, and flamboyant. Why? Because it's fun and I think I'll find it amusing. Plus I have to admit that I'm a little offended that she thinks I'm gay. It's not so much the whole gay thing that bothers me, it's more the dishonesty. If I'm gay then I'm in the closet, which means I'm a habitual liar. I don't like being thought of as dishonest, since I consider myself a very honest person.
Yesterday I mentioned to my friend about the other friend's girlfriend thinking I was gay (I really need a better naming system. This is out of hand.) He said that I was probably the most 'straight-acting' guy he knew. I asked whether he was calling me closeted and he said no, he meant I was like a big fat sportswatching guy's guy. Frankly I would rather have been seen as gay than stupid and beer swilling, but that's another story. He also, incedentily, made a comment implying that it was very lucky that I didn't have children because I would make a horrible parent. Good guy though. Solid citizen.
Anyway, I do wonder if other women think I'm gay. That would bother me a little. It's not just the misperception aspect, it's more. I'd like to be rejected for the self-involved fat slob I am, not the self-involved gay fat slob I'm not. I don't know why I'd come off as gay, but it's not worth delving into. If people want to draw incorrect conclusions, fuck em. That's not my responsibility.
I do wish I could shake these doldroms though. They really might be a mild form of depression. I'm not unhappy, I'm enjoying myself at the moment, especially with MVP Baseball 2004 for the Ps2 to play. I just don't feel like DOING anything, but I know I should.
Damn you doldroms! Damn you to HECK!