Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Well, Sunday night sucked. It started out okay with dinner, but then the time for the movie came, and my friend and his girlfriend hadn't shown up yet. The movie was stupid and airheaded, including all manner of manipulated statistics and stupid animated segments that were somewhat entertaining and not at all informative. "I polled nutritioinsts and the vast majority of them said not to eat McDonald's more than occasionally." Wow, what an informative statistic.

Oh wait, if Nutritionists recomended eating at McDonald's then NOBODY WOULD NEED THEM AND THEY WOULD BE OUT OF A JOB. I polled new car dealers and they said that purchasing a car new would be a better investment than buying a used one. Doctors are suspicious of 'holistic medicine.' There are all kinds of stupid little manipulations like that in the movie.

After the film things got even worse. We went for a long walk together and chatted, only it sucked. For one thing the French chick was doing her best impression of Harpo Marx. She didn't have a horn, true, but she said slightly less than he would have to make up for it. I'll admit that I got irritated and agressive during the evening, but that's just how I get when I'm having a terrible time. One of the reasons I hate hanging out in group situations, I often find myself throwing good friends into grass embankments.

Anyway the evening was a total bust after it became a group affair and the movie was a vapid waste of celluloid. Then yesterday I went and had dinner with another friend. That was slightly better, but I almost found myself running out of things to talk about at one point. Totally unlike me. The highlight of that evening was going to the Times Square Toys R Us and making fun of the Barbie section. Cracking totally un-PC jokes in the presence of children is always a good time. I may have gone a little bit over the line when I said "That black family unit was true to life. The father's just a picture on the wall" but that's me. I regret the things I DON'T say.

I sent out more resumes today, no response to any so far of course. This is futile, I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'll keep plugging away but every employer in New York wants experience.

A lot of people are talking about how Reagan won the cold war through high military spending. Bullshit. The vast majority of Reagan's military spending was graft, pure and simple. I'm not sure how they imagine this brought down the evil empire, but I imagine they think a bunch of conversations occured like this:

Vladamir: Evening comrade Plutarsky. It is cold here in Moscow is it not?

Petrovsky: Yes comrade Verbinsky. It is indeed.

V: So have you heard the bad news?

P: No, the state sponsored paper carries only the good. What is it?

V: The Americans. They have outdone us again.

P: What is it this time? A new kind of submarine?

V: Even worse. $600 toilet seats.

P: Those capitalist pigs!

V: How can we compete with that? Our men are sitting on toilet seats that cost only a few ruples. They have splintered backsides and are uncomfortable when they have stomache problems.

P: Those $600 toilet seats must be heaven. I can't even imagine how wonderful it would be to poop upon one of them.

V: We cannot compete.

P: No. No we cannot.

V: And even worse. The new missile defense system.

P: Pah. Missile defense systems are pointless. We have more than enough weapons to overwhelm their defenses, and we can send missiles without warheads to confuse things further. The threat of nuking 10 cities is just as detering as the threat of nuking 20.

V: True. But they are calling it the Star Wars system. Named after a Mark Hamil film. The force must be with them.

P: The force! How can we overcome the force?

V: We cannot.

P: We cannot.

Meanwhile, back at the White House...

Reagan's Handler: Here you go Steve. Another few billion in taxpayer dollars. Now you can finally gild the inside of your private jet. Won't have to live like an animal any more.
Steve: Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. You sure the taxpayers won't mind?

RH: Of course not. They're idiots. You say "Evil Empire" and they say "Pay any price."

S: But they might figure it out eventually, right?

RH: Nah. We'll just have our brainwashers at the pulpit say "Jesus" a few dozen times and wipe out any rational thought that they might have. It's funny. You might think that anyone with a double digit IQ would realize that putting the country deep in debt to cut taxes for the rich is not in their best interest, or that turning social welfare spending into graft spending is probably not a policy they should support. But they don't. You just say "socialist" and "Jesus" enough times and the drooling masses will take their religious opium and vote against their interests.

S: That's mighty nice to hear. I'll be sure to pitch in for Reagan's $2.5 million mansion once he leaves the office.

RH: Thanks, we appreciate that. It's not like we're evangelists. We don't have millions of suckers sending us money unthinkingly. We have to embezzle it in complicated schemes involving Nicaragua.

S: That really sucks. I just hope that in 20 years time Republicans will be able to openly favor business over people and be open, HONEST, crooks.

And the moral of the story is, they were able to.
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