Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Towards the end I didn't even believe him when he said his name was Bill Clinton

I feel better today, but I still can't write. I'm blocked or it's the carbs or the stress or something. It's not the heat, and I don't really think it's the TV because even with it off I can't focus. It's distressing.

I've been trying to figure out why these past 5 or so weeks have been so tough on me. It's not entirely clear. I graduated college with fine grades, I have lost a little under 20 pounds over that time period, and I think I know what I want to do, or at least part of what I want to do. Things are going okay and it hasn't been that long that I've had professional frustration, but I'm down. One of the possibilities I've thought of is that after making a decision to pursue some sort of creative endeavor I feel like the life I've lived for the last four years is over, and this might be a period of mourning. I was planning on doing law or psychology or something, and now, well, I'm not. It's not that the doors are practically closed to me, but in my mind there's just no appeal there anymore. I am now traipsing into if not the unknown the unfamiliar. It's not necessarily wrong to mourn the dying of the light.

I watched Bad Santa again, and it was not quite as wonderful as it was the first time, but Christmas movies never play that wonderfully in June. I still laughed uproariously at certain points, and I really enjoy the flick. Still I don't think I'll be watching it every day for the next month or anything.

Today was basically wasted, but I have the interview tomorrow. I hope to blow them away with my charm and intelligence. Barring that I can at least practice my begging skills.

Life marches eternally onwards. Things stagnate and fall apart. The world spins off its access and crashes into the sun. Shit happens.
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