Our tax system is fucked and it's a huge drain on both our economy and the ability of our government to function. If we had a more functional tax system we would not have this astounding deficit nor would Enron have happened. The IRS caught a lot of the fraud in '99 but because its toothless it chose not to prosecute, and without prosecution there are confidentiality laws (those don't apply during a court proceeding because whatever's said there is a matter of public record.) . The California manipulation, the wiping out of the retirement funds, a decent part of the stock market collapse, all of that could have been differet. Ouch.
As for my thinking about romance, I've decided to stop speculating about it. It's not really that useful, and overpredicting things can be a dangerous thing. The Eharmony thing is an amusing capstone, and I shall treat it as such.
As for creativity, well I feel both en and dis couraged by my recent writing. It hasn't been brilliant, but at least the volume has picked up. I liked the idea of the serial killers dating bit, but I didn't like my execution. I know it's not the first time that idea has ever been done, but I think Richard Kaczynski dating is even funnier than guys like Dahlmer and Manson. Dahlmer and Manson had their own sort of bizzaro charm, but Kaczynski was a filthy hermit who wrote manifestos and wasn't even man enough to deliver his bombs himself. In some ways he's definitely better than the others since he had an actual point he was trying to make, and he was a smart guy, but more datable? Someone should make an online quiz about what serial killer you'd be best off hooking up with.
I don't know. I feel like I'm on the verge of being able to tap at least part of my twisted vision and produce something worthwhile, but I'm extremely dissatisfied with my work. The script I'm doing definitely has some promise, but there are also slow parts that need a lot of work, and I'm having trouble thinking of another idea that can be done for no money. I know that even professional films have huge amounts cut out of them, so having flaws is not necessarily a dealbreaker, but I'm not sure how to fix the problem. I know that much of creativity is just throwing shit out there time and time again until something sticks, and that even the great artists often only produce a few really good works over the course of their entire lives (Scorcese has probably 6 films that one could consider great) but what can I say, I have a low frustration threshold. I am going to work on that. It's funny, an Aristotle or a Shakespeare, people who produce a large corpus of truly great works, only come around a few times over the course of the entirety of human history, and yet how many people think that they could be an Aristotle or a Shakespeare? Millions. That sort of thing can't be self judged. I don't think I could ever be an Aristotle or a Shakespeare, I lack both the discipline and the raw talent (of course), but the fact that so many people misjudge their ability is...frightening. You can't trust your own perceptions, you can't trust those of others, when it comes down to it you basically have to go with a Nike slogan and just do it.
I watched Eurotrip today, for Netflix reasons, and it was...okay. Those raunchy teen comedies never truly resonate with me for two reasons. A) A bit of jealousy. B) Inability to relate to the characters and their situations. I have never been that irresponsible or stupid, and I'm not sure how to sympathize with characters that are. Some of the gags can be funny, and in Eurotrip some were, but how can you root for a guy who gets a fellow employee fired for his own lazyness and irresponsability, and then takes over his job? What if the other guy had a family, or a dream of his own? It's pretty sad if you think about it. I had two thoughts when watching the film. One was that the internet and movies like this have sucked all the innocent joy out of being a kid discovering his first pair of breasts on celluloid. In the 80's and 90's when I grew up, seeing a raunchy movie meant a few seconds of tit on screen time. Sometimes you'd try to rent an action movie in the hopes of getting that. Today there are extended bare tit sequences, and there's just no thrill of the hunt anymore. The internet has done the same thing. When I was 12 and got the Encarta program on my computer I spent a few nights trying to find multimedia pictures of tits. There were a few, African tribeswomen and such, but on the whole it was a titilating waste of time. Today you can pop on the net and see more tits than anyone could ever get through in a lifetime. Heck you can even find hardcore porn. The electronic age and relaxed standards have fucked with our rights of passage. It's a little depressing.
The other thing is that I ought to go to Europe at some point in the next few years. I'm not interested in the clubs or trying to pick up foreign women, but I'd like to check out some of the great museums and castles and such while I'm old enough to really appreciate them and young enough not to have responsibilities weighing down on me. Of course if my life goes the way I WANT it to, I will never be dragged down by responsibilities and could go in my fifties and still git-R-done, but I'll probably be a wage slave at some point. That's the way the cookie usually crumbles. There's also the fact that Europe's government is going to shit under the EU, and I want to get over there before their new brand of fascism fully takes over and my right to free speech there becomes more restricted than it already is. Today you can't say negative things about Muslims. Tomorrow you may not even be able to insult the French. As much as I insult and degrade our horrible government, I think the E.U. may be even worse. It's a bunch of unelected bureaucrats trying to remake western civilization to match their own fetishistic attachement to political correctness and pandering to the growing Muslim population, which just HAS NOT integrated. What a mess.