Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Don't get so down on yourself

This is a really incoherent BAD BAD Entry. Skip it if your time is valuable or if you don't really care about my half formed thoughts and ideas.


Time keeps rolling by. I have no idea where today went, just that it went. I managed to work out and to watch Dogma, which is a film that I'd wanted to see for awhile and that proved to be more entertaining and less thought provoking than I thought it would. Kevin Smith is a good film maker in that he is willing to step outside the rules of conventionality and make a story that is true only to itself and not to the rules of Hollywood (well insomuch as the investors will allow him to.)

He is not such a good film maker in that once outside the boundaries of Hollywood he often doesn't have that much to say. Dogma is a fun movie but it has a fairly pat ending and while it deals with religeon in a psudo subversive way it ends up actually being a kindhearted film. I guess that's subversive in its own way, but it ties up so neatly that it doesn't leave you with all that much to think about. On the other hand Smith just wants to be funny and I can respect that. Plus there is no character in cinematic history that I know of, who is as stupid, vulgar, annoying, and ultimatly sweet as Jay. Jay's a perverted idiot but you can't hate the guy.

Dr. X said that Gabe's thesis that men vilify women because women can reject men sexually works both ways. I have thought about this a little off and on and I don't think I really agree. While it's true (I think) that women have sexual desires and needs they are not expected to expose themselves to rejection in the same way that men are. This is changing and has changed somewhat over the last few decades but men are still expected to be the initiators and women are still apt to flirt with guys they are attracted to rather than be direct and ask them out.

We are expected to be the ones who open ourselves up for direct rejection.

And I can't do it.

I understand that there are disadvantages to being in the more passive role, such as having to wait and wonder and the fact that after a certain period the power differentials tend to change and shift into the male's favor. But still it's difficult to be the initiator, especially when you are so used to turning success to failure that you have absolutely no ability to tell if someone is flirting with you, something that is very rare with regards to myself but has, I believe, happened in the past.

My theory is that with the shifting of women's established roles you have a sort of tectonic plate thing going on underneath the surface and we're currently in the middle of mountain making. A slew of decades ago it used to be fairly simple for the higher end of the middle class. Marriage was the goal and there were only a few ways to get there. A man's worth was measured in large part by his success and a woman's by her physical attractiveness and suitability for domestic roles. This is a vast oversimplification of things, but bear with me for a moment.

I'm not saying this was better, just easier. I think that the opression of women was a rather lame brained scheme to begin with. I mean if you're going to live with and mate with someone wouldn't you want her to be as interesting and deep as possible?

Anyway, this is a bit of a non sequitor but I'm a bit too tired to fill in all the middle steps in this logical progression, but anyway feminism came saw and conquored, and now women are out in the world doing and being. So now instead of being a man with a good job approaching a woman with nice breasts for a basically commercial exchange we have two people with roughly equivalent assets trying to figure out how they fit together.

Okay that didn't exactly make sense, even to me, but the idea is sort of half formed. The basic gist of it is that society is not really equipped for equality among the sexes. With women no longer being required to be the moral center of a relationship casual sex and unhealthy parenting flourishes. Men with working mates need to lean to do more at home. Blah Blah Blah I'm an idiot.

On another note my friend Hee-Ann says that women don't know what they want. He says that his brother is an asshole but gets plenty of attention from the female gender because of it. I have observed first hand that some women tend to flirt heavily with and attempt to gain the affection of men they see as unobtainable because being attractive to people they are attractive to is very important to their self esteem. So they'll date the jerk instead of the nice guy because the nice guy will give them attention and respect either way and the jerk will not, and they want as much attention and respect as it is possible to obtain.

Supposedly they grow up later on.


I don't fully trust Hee-Ann because his family was screwed up. His dad openly cheated on his mom.


I think I made this entry because I wanted to resolve my thoughts and feelings about the movie Dogma. See I first ordered it when I entered college for the second time and it was delayed about half a year so my relationship with the film bridges a large period of personal growth. The boy who watched Dogma this afternoon was very different from the boy who ordered it from DVD Express in January. It made me think about how far I have come and how far I have left to go.

All the other stuff was just stuff I'd been kicking around in my head for awhile but apparently not long enough. I will revisit it at some point but if anyone bothered to read this entry feel free to comment on what you THINK I mean or what I have wrong or whatever. I could use some help in turning these half thoughts into ideas.

The surface message of Dogma was that ideas are better than beliefs.

That's honky dory.
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