November 19th, 2001

pod

Sitting here wasting my time

Today was one of those days. I spent most of last night trying to start my sociology paper, finally getting it begun at a little before midnight. Unfortunatly for me a movie that I wanted to see came on Showtime and even worse it turned out to be a fairly decent one (I forget the name of it but it was a black comedy about a guy who gets picked up in a coffee shop and begins the worst night of his life, replete with overflowing toilet in a stranger's apartment, being embalmbed in paper mache alive, and an angry mob out to tear him limb from limb for some robberies he never commited spearheaded by a vigilante in a Mister Softee truck.) So of course I never finished my paper and I worked on it all day today, for almost every spare minute I had except when I spoke with Jeff. The thing is that although it turned out semi-alright it was too long and my instructor basically told me I'd be better off rewriting it and submitting it late then handing it in as is. Since I want to do well in this sociology class I agreed so now I basically wasted 18 hours of effort and stress with nothing to show for it. Such is life.

Also I was late for my psych class which I hate, my Spanish teacher caught me unprepared for class, and I only had 6 students show up at my GED course. I must not be a very inspiring teacher since everyone else seems to be getting more. I dunno, how am I supposed to teach without any real training and when my students won't offer any suggestions. Maybe I just don't come across as confident enough, which I'm certainly not.

Tonight I have to regroup, read a book of the bible, and write a two page paper on it. Don't know if I will succeed but I will damned well try, and since I have no classes tomorrow afternoon I can afford to stay up late doing it. School is so fucking unrewarding...you know? I'm just a waste of flesh as a student, can't get motivated or interested or do anything worthwhile. Ahh forget it, I'm too tired and stressed out to be depressed. Catch you on the flipside space cowboys.
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