February 13th, 2002


It's good that I'm not angry anymore

Yesterday was chock full of the good the bad and the ugly. On the good side my Stata homework was really easy and quick to complete which was nice since I only left myself about 12 minutes to do it before Lit-Hum class. Also I finally got a little recognition for my academic talents with a guy who'se in two of my classes (and who I know a bit from over the summer) asking me to help him with consolidation of some of the information from the classes we have together. Also in stat class the instructor pointed to me in an explanation of what a flawed sample would be and said "If I sampled only this guy at the front then I'd think that everyone was doing really well in this class and I didn't need to have office hours" which also pleased me. The only problem with that is that I'm afraid of being judged as generically smart. That causes problems when people expect perfection from you, and in statistics I am certainly far from perfect. Some girl stopped me on the way out of class and asked for some help with a computer program she was installing. Like I know anything about making random computer programs work (I usually CAN but it's not exactly my area of expertise.) The sad thing is that I wasn't even that "on" today in that I made a couple comments in all my classes which were either uninsightful or incorrect. Not a HUGE deal but a little unsettling. Isn't the first time though so I'll let it slide for now, but if I can't raise my level of contribution I might have to drop something so I can refocus.

The bad and the ugly were mostly over my GED class. First of all the class would NOT settle down no matter what I said and I had to verbally spar with several members who were making fun of the exercises we were going over even though they couldn't get them right and kept calling out the answers anyway. That wasn't so bad and I didn't even get mad when they started teasing me, asking me if I was on the Columbia football team and such (a reference to my build) but what I did object to was when three students sauntered in an hour late to class and then one of them refused to do the reading. I eventually got fed up and flat out asked "What are you here for then? The Floor show?" Apparently this is some sort of threat outside academia because the whole class made shocked remarks and after class the guy (a 6'3" 250+ lb guy) was waiting for me outside the building and said "Be safe" in a threatening manner. You know I consider myself a fairly tough guy, but I don't want to tangle with a big urban dude carrying a giant shoulder chip and flanked by homies, and frankly I think his beligerance was warranted in the least. I asked him to participate the same as any other student in the class room and considering his lateness and loudness it was the LEAST he could have done to provide some purpose for his being there besides disruption. I ended up reporting him to the program coordinators so hopefully he will either shape up or be shipped out. I know that I was never the easiest student in my high school days but I wasn't THAT disruptive and I NEVER went so far as to make threatening remarks to an instructor. I wouldn't have said anything if not for that.

Also on the way back from class one of my students who needed me to photocopy the book for her kept talking to me about her deadbeat boyfriend and complaining about men in general which was irritating. I felt like turning to her and saying "Try being completely alone for awhile, see how that feels" but instead I just did the whole silent supportive thing because I figured it wasn't worth the bother. The whole GED experience is definitly not as good as it was last semester, but I'm not going to be scared off. If they want to come at me they are welcomed to, after all getting beat up is probably good life experience for any guy.

Oh and as an addendum to the ugly I had to type this post 3 times before I could actually get it up because my computer keeps crashing due to various reasons mostly having to do with it being old and overused (specifically the CD drive laser is getting lazy so it sometimes freezes unable to read a CD and crashes the whole damned rig) Now I have to do some reading for JUSTICE and get ready for my day. Oh well, at least I'm halfway through the week and maybe I can meet some new people through Derrick (the guy who wants my help with consolidation) since he's so popular it's barely possible to SPEAK to him on campus without being mobbed by aquaintances of his. Probably not though. Oh well, I ASKED for someone to use me for my brain. Ask and ye shall recieve.
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