April 12th, 2002


Born down in a dead man's town.

Yesterday pretty much bit. We were doing Pride and Prejudice in Lit-hum and that's my LEAST favorite book in the whole fucking world. After class I made the mistake of asking my professor if I could cut on tuesday. I plummeted a lot in his eyes. Oh well, he said I could but I'll go to class. I'm not dumb enough to actually skip after being called apathetic and sleazy (not in those words) for wanting to.

In between classes I studied for my statistics mid term and got all antsy. The waiting can be the hardest part.

Japanese history was pretty interesting but since I had left my Stat notes in my jacket pocket, well I was itching to get home and not really paying attention. I did learn interesting facts about population movement in interwar Japan though.

Statistics. Well I rushed to the computer lab to print the notes out again, and headed in to the test. It was much easier than I thought it would be except I messed up one problem slightly. See I used a T test instead of a Z test. It was stupid but shrug I just forgot what to do. Everyone else thought the test was very hard though so I should still do well in comparison to the rest of the class. Not a 100, but something in the 90's. If I didn't get anything else wrong I expect a 95 or so. If I misjudged and screwed up elsewhere maybe just a 90.

Diana said she did poorly on the test so I should probably maintain at least a semblance of respectibility by not tutoring someone in a test they beat me in. Of course I'm not happy that she thinks she bombed it, but in a way I'm relieved. We're going to do our group project on the weather, cause the girls just wouldn't go for football and golf and the alternative they proposed was counting M&M colors (I SO don't want to be fucking around with M&Ms while I'm trying to stick to my diet. Yeah! I get to watch TV for school. Wait. It's the weather channel. What have I done? DEAR LORD WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Post statistics I just went home and thought about homework and didn't do it. Then I had a conversation with some random woman on AOL IMER (I'm still not sure if she got my name off LJ or if she just randomized me off the AOL IMER random user thingamabobajig, but she got me thinking about my college major and I checked the Columbia Bulliten for information on the psychology major.

Panic time. It turns out that I need a 3.67 by my JUNIOR year IN psychology to apply for psychology honors. Assuming I get an A- in abnormal (which I HAVE to do now) I will still just have a 3.63. Of course I'm a first semester sophomore so simply taking another psych course and getting an A in it would put me over the edge before junior year, but you have to apply for honors seminar at the end of sophomore year and since I plan on being a junior next fall…well…this is trouble. I might have the option of delaying registration for that course until after the summer in which case I could take a class over the summer to get my GPA up over the cutoff…but I'm not sure. In a panic I emailed my abnormal TA about the extra credit project and my advisor about setting up a meeting. If I CAN'T get into honors psych under any circumstances I might just end up going psych minor and majoring in poly sci or some such thing. There you can wait until senior year to declare honors.

I'm pretty upset about this and I don't know what to do. How important are honors? How important are grades? How important is major selection altogether? I have been sort of focusing on other aspects of my life and missed out thinking about all this stuff. Argh. My brain is overloaded with stress but I'm just setting it aside until I can actually do something about it. Denial or a constructive coping strategy (Since I did contact the only two people who can help me).

What the fuck am I supposed to do?
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