December 29th, 2005



I left the TV on last night and when I walked into the living room this morning there was a big graphic on the screen proclaiming Fox to be my weather authority. Now maybe I'm just old fashioned but I'm pretty sure there's only one weather authority out there, a little weather authority I like to call GOD, and that's when it hit me.

Rupert Murdoch thinks he's God.

Now this may not come as a big surprise to anyone who's watched Fox News recently (New tagline: "From the mouths of angels to your ears of sin"), but it took me awhile to catch on. After all if I were Rupert Murdoch I would not think of myself as a God. A purveyor of staggeringly mediocre media crap? Sure. A bad bad man? Most definitely. The most uptight son of a bitch to come out of Australia since Mel Gibson's father? Spot on. God? Not so much.

But I'm not Rupert Murdoch, so my opinion doesn't matter (That's actually related to Fox News' next tagline: "If you're not working for Rupert Murdoch you can SHUT THE FUCK UP.") Only His does.

So what does this mean? It means that there's finally an explanation as to why Murdoch puts raunchy programing on one channel (Fox) and people who whine incessantly about raunchy programing on another (Fox News.) He's trying to recreate the battle between good and evil. The good (Boobies, breasts, tits, foul language) is diametrically opposed by the evil (those who hate boobies) thus creating balance. It all makes sense now.

Fox News is SUPPOSED to be the devil. Good job Rupe.
  • Current Music
    Dan Bern - One Thing Real