March 29th, 2006

pod

Jackassery. Post-Mortem.

That's right, jackass. Take your cellphone with you to the grave. Because nothing says "I enjoyed buggering sheep in life" like needing a fucking cellular phone in the great beyond. Seriously, what's the best case scenario here? That you somehow get reception 6 feet underground and can scare the shit out of a group of mourners by having the Crazy Frog song emanate from the earth beneath their feet as they pass? That someone will call your number during your funeral so everyone can hear that "In Da Club" ring tone you paid $5 for back in 2002?

Aren't cellphones irritating enough in life? Don't we have to deal with enough of this shit when we're conscious? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for burying and burning cellular phones, just not alongside people. Do you really think you're going to pick up the phone post-postmortem and, getting a perfect 5 bars of reception, just dial up a buddy. "Yeah, Merle, I'm dead. No really. So, how's Tina?"

That being said, death is a very personal thing so I think anyone who really wants to be buried with their cellphone should, of course, have their request met. Preferably sooner than later.
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