May 28th, 2006



Of course, you know, this means war.

There are certain things a man can put up with. Lies. Betrayal. Being kicked in the nuts. We're a tough bunch.

But you write an article about Chuck Norris fighting in Iraq and have it be some OTHER Chuck Norris? That is UNACCEPTABLE. If the REAL Chuck Norris went to Iraq he'd fucking karate kick the entire country into shape in 1 and a half hours. Don't believe me? Watch Delta Force. Or Delta Force II. Or Top Dog!

Chuck Norris is the ultimate weapon. To hear that he's been deployed in the Iraqi theater brings hope to a desperate nation. To find out it's not the REAL Chuck Norris? That is typical liberal media bullshit. It wrecks moral. It's RAISING UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS.

I hope you'll join me in boycotting the Times until it prints a retraction and apology for this travesty. And please sign my petition at to have Chuck Norris go to Iraq and fix the country before it's too late.