November 29th, 2006


You caught me

Time Warner cable won't give me service (including internet) unless I fax them a notarized copy of my lease. It seems that the last people who lived in my apartment forgot to cancel their cable (although they managed not to leave a cable box anywhere in the place.)

I don't have a fax machine.
My lease wasn't notarized. My roommate witnessed it.

Good work Time Warner. You stopped me from executing my sinister plot to install digital cable service in SOMEONE ELSE'S APARTMENT, thus DEVIOUSLY distracting them with 150 channels of low quality entertainment!! Oh you sussed it out and you PUT THE KIBOSH on it! Curses. Foiled again.

Look, I understand that angry exes or just pranksters might try and cancel someone's cable service without their permission, but who exactly gets it INSTALLED as a prank and has THEMSELVES billed for it? Has this problem come up before.

Meanwhile I'm going to see if there's a DSL/Satellite package available because, well, fuck Time Warner and it's bureaucratic bullshit. I could get electricity and gas switched to my name with a phone call but if I want cable I need to get my landlord to visit a notary public?

This wouldn't be a huge deal except that without broadband I can't bring my computer to the new place and so I have to go to my mom's house (where I am now) whenever I need to do online banking or even track my new cellphone's progress through FedEx (my current one is broken down and desperately needs replacement.)

1-800-OK-CABLE? More like 1-800-FUCK-YOU-AND-YOUR-HOPES-AND-DREAMS. That's over 7 digits, but you get the idea.