December 26th, 2006


Apple doesn't like you

I enjoy Apple's sleek and futuristic designs as much as anybody. My Macbook looks great open or closed, my iPod is beautiful, and the accessories available for either both complement and build upon the basic design principals at hand. Apple has pioneered the transformation of electronics gadjets into works of art. Yea.

There's one thing I don't like about Apple products, though.

All that white.

Now don't get me wrong, white has a lot of good attributes when it comes to design. It looks clean and fresh, accentuates angles, and is a strong contrast from the silvers and blacks that most other electronic companies use. If you see a white notebook computer chance are it's an apple.

The problem is, it's not practical.

Every bit of dust or stray hair stands out against the white background. Every crumb or flake of skin or bit of WHATEVER becomes an ugly blemish against a white background that prominently displays it. And if you've ever used a laptop computer you know that they don't stay perfectly clean. Any computer user worth his or her salt is going to get SOMETHING on his or her keyboard from time to time, even if it's just the stuff you can't keep your body from shedding without going through ridiculous GATTACA level purification rituals. On a Macbook this stuff ruins the beautiful design effect. I'm constantly having to clean the thing with canned air or special computer cleaner or whatever. I love the clean white design of my computer, but it shouldn't require more grooming than I do!

The solution? Multiple colors. Apple has already shown with it's iPods that they can make other colors that complement their enviable design. I'm currently using a blue Nano, which is both quite beautiful and capable of having a bit of dust on it without losing its appeal. There's no reason they couldn't do this for their laptops and computers as well. I'm sure someone out there wants a candy-red laptop, and Apple could easily tap that market. Right now all they have are white (and one black model that costs extra).


P.S. I can't help but think that based on this logic, if it weren't for odor black people could also get away with wasting less time on cosmetic grooming and the like than us palefaced bastards. It's already a known fact that they don't sunburn as easily and look better in baggy jeans, but does their genetic superiority extend to this realm as well? Curse you, African Americans, and your well-designed skin!