I called back the people who called me about my resume on Thursday. This was at 10:15. They said they'd call me right back and now it's 11:52. This is one of the things I hate about looking for work, people who act like just becuase they have what you want they don't have to treat you with respect. I'm not demanding they call me back immediately normally, but if you say that's what you're going to do, wll it should be what you do. Otherwise just say "We're really busy at the office, we'll call you back this afternoon." How hard is that? I am not good at being subserviant to people I don't respect (and I don't respect, or disrespect, people I don't know) it doesn't fit in my nature.
I'm currently 1:04 PM, watching a film on HBO about Celibacy and religious massochism. It's making me sick to my stomach. I just saw someone crucified, he won't die because they've given him a platform to hold his feet and they'll take him down, but it sent a shudder throughout my whole body. I've seen scenes of weird sexual sadistic practices before, like on the irritating "Real Sex" show that HBO shows when it should be showing Curb Your Enthusiasm, and while watching someone get sealed up in latex entirely except for a little breathing straw doesn't do anything for me erotically and seems sort of foolish to me, it never brought fourth that powerful disgust. There's something so twisted about the dishonesty and brutality of religious sadism that it hits me viscerally, and that's difficult to do. The movie made an interesting comparison between religious and sexual sadism, that they both bring forth similar opiate responses from the body, but I think there are important differences, especially in the areas of the amount of social pressure and the honesty of the situation. In the United States most people willingly engage in sexually masochistic practices, in fact there's a certain social cost (among the mainstream) for engaging in such behaviors. The thing I hate most about religion is the way it restricts and imposes costs upon the subjects. The more liberal the religion, the less the sublimation and th less the cost on followers. The most obvious example of how this works is explored in the film, which is nominally about the Catholic church sex abuse scandal. In religions where marriage is permitted among the clergy there have not been nearly the level of scandals (I've heard of a few isolated cases, but that happens in the secular world too.)
Now I must be off to the park to mock and deride Love Story. I actually wish I could stay and write, but I must go experience life in all its sunny glory, and shit like that. Before that, I'll leave y'all with a poll as to what I should change the name of this journal to, since "undisciplined scrawlings of a superior mind" has bothered people and I'm kind of bored with it. I'll keep fear and self-loathing in New York until it no longer applies. Ta!
What should I change the name of this journal to?