Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Celebrities say the craziest things

I sometimes wonder whether people in the entertainment world know how ridiculous some of the things they say are. A prime example would be athletes earning tens of millions of dollars who declare that they are going where the biggest money is because “They have to do what’s best for their family.” This is the largest load of shit I’ve encountered since the farm next to my house upstate got its yearly fertilizer shipment. Once you’re making $42 million you’re pretty much good in terms of providing your family with the comforts they need. Going where the money is for your family makes a lot of sense when your children are at risk of not having health insurance or money for college. It’s less convincing when the biggest risk is that they might have to stay in the presidential suite at the second nicest hotel in New York, instead of the first, when they come to visit. Now there are cases when maximizing profit with no regard to fans or loyalty is the moral thing to do. Athletes like Dikembe Mutombo and Manute Bol have sent most of their earnings over to their native lands to fund hospitals and other development projects for their people, who are in dire need. That’s the right decision. On the other hand, if you’re just worried that you might not be able to afford plasma screen TVs for ALL the bathrooms of your private jet, don’t feed us the “best for my family” line. It doesn’t fly. Especially considering the fact that going to another town involves uprooting your children, and the routine and well-known promiscuity that athletes are involved in. Apparently you want to do what’s best for your family financially, but not when it comes to keeping it in your pants or giving them a stable home environment. Good values you’re teaching them.

Of course that doesn’t compare to what Carlos Boozer’s wife said when some questioned his integrity for lying to the Cleveland Cavaliers about his intentions in order to get released from his contract early. "America is built on the foundation that with hard work, anything can be accomplished, and players like Carlos Boozer represent that to the fullest. I think your comments were distasteful and could be considered traitorous." That’s right, questioning the actions of an obnoxious and vastly overpaid basketball player could be considered traitorous. It’s funny, I always thought that for language to be considered traitorous it had to be harmful to the United States. Something like giving away nuclear secrets or showing a top-secret war plan to Saudi Prince Bandar despite the fact that it was illegal to show it to any foreigners. Apparently I was wrong. John Walker Lindh was bad. Benedict Arnold even worse. But people who hold basketball players to their word, those people are the real enemy.

Then there’s Robbie Knievel, a man famous for being only a slightly watered down version of his father. He dedicated his recent jump on the U.S. Intrepid to all the fallen heroes. I’m sure that if the fallen heroes were here they’d be really pleased about that. “You know, some of us dead guys would like our memory to be sustained by good policy, the minimization of future loss of life, and assurances that no American life will ever be lost on the battlefield for an unjust cause. SISSIES! What we really deserve is a 42 year old man jumping over 7 planes on a motorcycle. That’s what makes the sacrifice worth it.”

Do these people not understand the obscene oddness of the world they inhabit? The argument that we should pay no attention to them is a good one, but unfortunately other people do, they're a part of the culture and a large chunk of why it's being flushed down the toilet. When Britney Spears makes comments about how politics should be left to the politicians or the Hollywood left brigade makes environmentalists look brain damaged it has an impact. I'm not saying they have a responsibility to be good or even informed citizens, I just don't understand what the thought process is. And where are the handlers? Where were the handlers when Kerry made his "Reporting for Duty" comment? Why do we chase down people whose comments are not just uninformed but incomprehensible?

I guess I know the answers, it's all about money and schadenfreude and all the rest of the celebrity culture bullshit, but that's an intellectual comprehension.

Oh well, I'm not going to devote any more time to this, that's just playing into their hands. Playing into their hands because that's what the dead soldiers would want.
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