Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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The short shot.

Fabulously handsome and debonair London playboy rdg (The English media has been known to describe him as 'sort of like James Bond, but with a larger penis') has informed me that stealing my birth certificate was a natural part of the passport process, and my friend confirmed that he saw the post office person packaging it, so I'd lower the chances that it'll be used for identity theft and wracking up massive debts in my name to a nice comfortable %85.

P.P.S. I own the worst plunger of all time. It works, which is nice, but at what price? It's designed in such a way that it traps about 8 ounces of water underneath the lip, and it is very difficult to get this water out. I thought it was widespread knowledge that the type of water that exists in a clogged toilet is frequently not the kind that you want sitting around underneath a plunger-lip for weeks at a time in between uses, but apparently the designers didn't get the memo. So now I am stuck with a great dilemma, whether to unclog a disgusting toilet of bacterial soup, and thus take a cup of that soup out in my plunger/sampler gatherer or to try and flush it away through literally dozens of flushes. It's like a Faustian plunger. I secretly believe that it was invented by an econ student who wanted to see whether people would sacrifice future clean-up or odor overdose for a clear toilet. It was never meant to go to market. But it did. And now I own it. I hate my plunger.
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