Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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It seems that I have to walk until my legs burn if I want a clear thought

I realize, in retrospect, that the end of my last entry came out rather like something from a poorly written self-help book. "I'll be special to myself" is the sort of saying that generally activates my gag reflex and calls up disdain for whatever pom-pom waving cheerleader for the damned spewed it out. The only way I can excuse is it that I've been foggy-headed recently, especially this afternoon and evening before I went out for my walk, and when you're foggy your brain tends to spew out ideas you've ingested at some earlier point rather than generating new ones. It's sort of like reheating old leftovers instead of cooking something new when you're tired. I apologise, it was not my intention to sound like some sad cross of Richard Simmons before he lost the weight and Al Franken's Stewart Smalley character.

There's always stuff I forget to put in my posts. I feel like I should be constantly adding adendums, but they're already bloated and overlong to begin with. It'd be like those people who put footnotes in their footnotes. I hate them. There's no excuse for that kind of abominable behavior. That's why society praises the Donald Trumps of the world you know. Because people with intellectual or moral achievements tend to be massive dorks who do stuff like that. Stephen Hawking recently tried to settle a bet with a cricket encyclopedia. Even for a guy with no muscle tone or limb movement that's weak. The Donald doesn't settle bets with cricket encyclopedias. He uses hookers and blow. People respect that.

My head is all kinds of screwed up. I'm sure that's news to nobody. I'm not sure what it is. It could be lack of sleep, but I've been getting decent amounts recently, or at least giving that the old college try. Sleeping alone in an apartment can be tough. There are noises and light sources and troubles aplenty to keep you up. Then there's the changed diets. Carbohydrates and processed foods and shit. Then there's the fact that it's summer, and I never do well during the summer. It's my least favorite of all the seasons. Then there's stress, AND a lack of mental stimulation. I'm not doing anything to keep my mind working, AND I'm stressed about it. Kind of a twofer there.

My head is clearest after a long walk. I don't know if it's the endorphins or the bloodflow or just the heightened metabolism but it's a time when I can think. Unfortunately it's also a time when it's difficult to write because I generally want food and water and sleep, and maybe even to take off my sopping wet shirt drenched in sweat and/or rainwater because my nipples have been rubbed raw. I think I need a bra so that doesn't happen, and I'm pretty sure that if I got one and anyone ever found out I'd have to kill myself. "Yes, I am a transvestite, but it's not a kink or anything, it's totally explicable. See my nipples were a little...yeah. Just shoot me now."

Yet another one of my friends has fallen under the evil sway of misogyny. It's something that I dabbled in for awhile but gave up as pointless, when misanthropy is a so much more appealing choice. Seriously, though, there's a growing backlash against feminism that goes way too far. I fully support people who demand that equal mean equal (None of this "women can do anything men can do as well OR better bullshit") and that advancements in economic and social power be equaled by a reduction in things like alimony and child support. I fully support the idea that if women have the right to abort then men should have the right to sever legal ties during the same period. I think that woman bashing is no different than man bashing and that chicks need to get a whole lot less sensative about that issue. I am far from a feminist, and anyone who claims to be one is automatically suspect in my book. You want to be egalitarian? I'm with you brother man, but feminism implies female superiority, just as masculinism would imply male superiority. That's not my bag baby.

On the other hand, to say that American women as a group are a bunch of stuck up greedy cunts with no positive qualities is just plain crazy. Do they fawn over men like the gentle maidens of fairy tales? No. I'd imagine fawning gets boring too. But for every manipulative bitch of a woman there's an asshole guy. It is my experience that nasty people exist in fairly even numbers across the genders, with men maybe even getting the nod for being a bit shittier. Now it's much more painful when a beautiful woman with skin like alabaster and a smile like a sunset in the Alps toys with your brain via your cock and leaves you on the trash head, as compared to when Steve the shithead gives you a shove, but that's more a matter of effectiveness than intent. Men still cheat more, they break the law in larger numbers, and they smell a hell of a lot worse.

Hatred of women is a dead end street. There are interesting sweet girls out there, somewhere. Yes in the current climate a lot of them are adhering to an unfair and unjust political doctrine, but one would hope that logic could change that. To throw the baby out with the bathwater and go looking elsewhere (I.E. Asia and South America where the cultures are a little more repressive and the women a little more acommodating) is silly. The baby is delicious! Suck its brains out and chew them like rice pudding.

I don't know, I still believe in nice girls. I think I saw one during the spring. Presumably they're all attached, generally to assholes who not only don't deserve them but are sleeping around on them so much they know more about different kinds of mattressess than the people who sell them, but they still exist.

I think a lot of guys like my friends and me were sort of left out by the elimination of respect from the process of choosing a sexual partner. There used to be nice girls and boys, and then those who did the whole club and hook-up thing. Now there are loser girls and boys, and those who do the whole club and hook-up thing. Waiting and dating have been devalued. I wish it wasn't so. I think it's a social ill. It doesn't mean people are worse now, though. Just different. A lot of guys really like the increased expressed libido of the modern female. A lot of them thrive on it.

I'm rambling though. I probably ought to stop or I'll say something I shouldn't.
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