Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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I'm not actually depressed, just taking out my frustration via the words. I'm all about the words.

I'm tired and I'm grumpy. I wish I could stop being sick. I'm getting really tired of having little snippets of clarity in the mornings that quickly develop into headache riddled afternoons and evenings. It's an extreme frustration, made even worse by the fact that I'm not sure whether I should go for my walks. I usually opt for them because not only do I get exercise but a desperately needed chance to clear my head, but they might be compromising my health just a little. Damned if I do damned if I don't.

I wish I was writing well right now. That always helps my self-esteem. Ripping off a really fun little piece or something insightful and interesting. I'm planning on writing an rpeate inspired piece of a screenplay for the 3 of you guys on that filter but given my current state it'll probably be of the approximate quality of that stuff I wiped off the insides of my thighs a couple nights ago.

I hate the fact that I haven't been able to write the stuff I promised my friends or even the 1 publishable piece I promised myself before the end of summer. I'm not letting it get me down, I've done some decent work and I've improved, which is all anyone ever has a right to expect from themself. We all go through our periods of poor quality and we all suck when we start out, with the possible exception of iconoclast who has continued sucking right to this day, although it is a different kind of sucking. I just know that I had a lot of freedom and time to write this summer, and I didn't accomplish all my objectives. It's not a huge deal, but I'm already missing having all the time in the world. There are benefits to having a job, though. It makes the weekends matter more, and it will give me a lot more ammunition.

I don't know, I'm a sick sad sack right now. I should just shut up and watch my one hit wonders show on Vh1 starring William Shatner.
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