Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Ashcroft's minions all around us. No way out but down, underground.

johnnylemonhead has been buttering me up like a freshly baked scone in a London tea shop for about four days now, and I was having trouble figuring out why. Now I've always been suspicious about compliments, ever since I figured out that they can be devastating weapons. They can be used to create a rapport and make other people give weight to your opinions, since who wouldn't have a high respect for people who have a positive impression of them?

But I couldn't figure out Johnny's angle. Those who play the "I'm going to pretend to like you until you care and then turn on you" game usually don't play it for more than a day or two. It's not worth the time investment. There've been no requests for money or credit card/social security numbers, not even a good asset survey. What angle was being taken? What was the method behind the madness.

Then I hit upon it. It was under my nose the entire time. [Bad username: Johnnylemonhead"] is an agent of Bush. I didn't suspect it at first since I couldn't figure out why the government would want to keep tabs on me. I'm strictly small time. An occasionally political blogger with plenty of invective but very few people who care. There are much bigger catches out there. This stumped me for a bit, but then I remembered something. You don't ask WHY the rhino is charging. You don't ask whether you're its real target or whether it's making a good choice. You ask "How fast can I run and where can I hide?" Maybe I should be flattered that the justice department considers me enough of a threat to send an agent after me. Maybe I should be scared that even fry as small as I am are being hunted down by Ashcroft's army. That doesn't really matter though. What matters is that they've got my number now. I'm screwed.

See the strategy being employed here is an ancient one. You catch more flies with females than with men in cheap wool suits. What male can resist female flattery? Even moreso when that man is, shall we say, playerly challenged. Furthermore females are inquisitive by nature, so when they ask Ashcrofty questions about sexual history and for photographic imagery it seems totally natural. Why should the FBI build its own files when they can outsource the work to the people being surveiled?

Everything fits. The vaguely hip but out of date by a few years screen name (with JOHNNY in it no less. Johnny ASHCROFT) The reluctance to reveal personal details (although presumably the agent was provided with some sort of cover identity.) The interest in unwholesome activities of the type the administration disapproves of. The lengthy pauses with demands of "Don't go anywhere" so essential for pinpointing location. I've been hoodwinked and now they're coming for me.

Has this entry been cryptic and confusing? Good. If I'm too clear they'll silence me for sure. This they might leave alone, thinking its disappearance might reveal more information than it does itself. All I can say as I sit here in silence holding a baseball bat and getting "99 ways to die" ready for when they burst through the door, is watch out and god help you. They'll do anything to silence dissent, and they've started picking on two-bit bloggers. The next person who messages you might be a government agent. The next message you receive may be your last.

Do not trust or lust. Those are just set ups for a very hard fall.
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