Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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Wisconsin hot sausage

Saturday was Man-date (For new initiates of this journal a Man-date is when two heterosexual males plan to spend an evening together doing the sorts of things one might do on a romantic date with a female. The terminology comes from one time when my friend Aaron and I were planning such an evening and he said that we were going to have a mandate for fun. I said "Oh, we shall have a fun man-date indeed" and it went from there.) night. John and I went to see Sideways , which is a fabulous movie everyone should see. It's a mature comedy with great performances from Paul Giamatti and Sandra Oh, and some profound things to say about life and love. I identified strongly with the Giamatti character, a failed writer at 40 with a lot of pent up rage, cleverness, and the sort of success with women that one normally associates with Catholic priests and/or Tibetan monks. I don't want to give anything away about the movie, but it's better than the previews make it out to be and it's the sort of film making I'd LOVE to do one day. Just an incredibly beautiful hilarious and moving story. A heartening vision.

Afterwards we went for a walk in the ramble at night and then I had dinner while he watched slouched over in the booth. The waitress seemed to think we were a gay couple, but John set her straight. He went home to his girlfriend and I went home alone. It was an okay time. I was funny and got a chance to talk about seem deep important issues. He discussed some stuff in return and complained about his girlfriend a lot. She loves him, and he doesn't love her back which is naturally a huge turn on for her. I think he should probably stop having sex with her and look for a girl who'd be a better partner for him, but what do I know? I think that people shouldn't have sex with people they're not in love with, in general, and that the cheapening of the physical act of love is one of the great costs we pay for the social revolution of the 60's.

One of the things I noticed while I was out with WC was that he was checking out other women (Other than his girlfriend, not other than me, I not being a woman and all). I noticed this when he remarked on the high quality rumps some of the females who were dressed in revealing Halloween costumes (Personally I find such strumpets somewhat distressing because they are a reminder of the loose morales among my generation's women). I get the feeling that Claude (Wisconsin Cocksman ---> WC ---> Debussy ---> Claude) is somewhat loose himself when it comes to monogamy, and it's an attitude I've always been somewhat interested by but never truly understood. To me intimacy has always implied trust, and when another person gives you their trust you have the responsibility to do whatever you can to maintain it in good faith. It's not always possible, everyone has slip-ups and sometimes betraying someone's trust can be a correct and moral action (such as if a friend is plotting some sort of violent felony.) I'm not saying that ogling female flesh is a betrayal of trust, just that it's an instinct I haven't developed even as a single man and it is always surprising to me when taken guys do it. I've never been much of a window shopper of any sort.

I wasn't jealous. One of the things I've started to figure out is that men who allow themselves the pleasure of superficial attraction often lose sight of the true goal, which is deep attraction. There are some who can juggle those to a certain degree, but a wandering eye is instantly gratifying and when you get used to it it's difficult to pull yourself back to a more disciplined approach, or at least it seems to be from behavior I've observed. I'm becoming more comfortable with another aspect of my own inherent geekdom.
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