Here there be monsters (socratic) wrote,
Here there be monsters

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I've read 13 pages. YEA!

Top 10 reasons why Americans voted against Gay Marriage

10) Worried that the hot chicks will wise up and marry each other if given the opportunity.

9) Exposing gays to the married suburban life would seriously damage quality of parades.

8) Straight guys jealous that gays would actually have a chance in hell of getting blow jobs from their spouses.

7) Americans want to restrict men wearing wedding dresses to Professional Athletes.

6) Think gays should be satisfied that they're allowed to save 15% or more on their car insurance by switching to Geico.

5) Older homos thinking "In my day you got married, had kids, and THEN came out of the closet and broke the family apart to pursue your needs. That's the way it was and we LIKED it."

4) Straight men on a mission of mercy, since they know what marriage is actually like.

3) Single women bitter enough as it is that all the good ones are married OR gay.

2) Wanted to screw with Fox's Spring 2005 TV schedule.

1) Requiring spouses of the children of lesbians to contend with 2 mothers in law unconstitutionally cruel.
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