depressedBesides the horrible antibiotic stuff today has mostly been about catching up on my sleep, which is always depressing, I don't know why. I wake up alone at 11:30 after sleeping all day and it's late and dark and I'm usually hungry and have a little headache but am not tired and it just sucks. I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning.
I've also had some creative setbacks, which are incredibly common but still irritating. I am just tired of doing all the heavy lifting in my life by myself without any real assistance. I'm not saying that it's unusual or even unfair, it's just tiring. I'm also getting annoyed by my job, where my responsibilities often exceed my access to information or materials. On Friday I had to send out a festival application that required all sorts of stuff I just didn't have, like the film's budget (I've been trying to get this for months) and the official logline (I got one but in my opinion it wasn't very good. In general I disagree with the direction my boss goes with a lot of his synopsis work. I think in general that he's a better director than he is a writer, but he really likes his writing and this creates a situation where I can't really do much proofing and the like because he doesn't like my edits.) It was a learning experience, but because of having to coordinate the whole thing I had to work through lunch and then go to the main post office to get it mailed off in the middle of a storm so severe that it snapped my umbrella (on loan from the office) like a twig. Realistically I'm looking at a couple years of this type of thing and I'm not too glad about that. Right now what would be ideal for me would be to be part of a creative team working on an interesting project, but I don't have the social skills or contacts to get involved with something like that. I get along great with people in the 40-50 year old range, but they're not looking for 22 year old writers. It's frustrating and depressing.
I hate writing up this 'trifling' shit because I would really like to have more interesting and entertaining things to say, but I don't.
ITunes thinks Depeche Mode is a rock band.
